Rev. David Holwick
First Baptist Church
West Lafayette, Ohio
August 26, 1984
Conflict and Conciliation
Philippians 4:2-7, KJV
When World War I broke out, the War Ministry in London sent a coded message to one of the British outposts in a very remote part of Africa. The secret message said: "War has been declared. Arrest all enemy aliens in your district." Soon after this the War Ministry received a message back: "We have arrested ten Germans, six Belgians, four Frenchmen, two Italians, three Austrians and an American. Please tell us immediately who we're at war with."
Conflict is a fact of life. Some historians have figured out that since 3600 BC the world has known only two hundred and ninety-two years of peace. Conflict is even more common on the personal level. There isn't a person here who hasn't had a fight with a parent, a neighbor or a friend. Most fights are relatively minor but some can become serious. Even Christians are not immune. Back in the 1920's the leading fundamentalist preacher in Texas was J. Frank Norris. Norris loved conflict. He ran an on-going verbal war with the Southern Baptist Convention. He called one preacher, "the Old Baboon." One of his sermons was entitled, "The Ten Biggest Devils in Ft. Worth, Names Given." The sermon lived up to its title. Norris especially liked to attack the Roman Catholic mayor of Ft. Worth. After Norris said the mayor wasn't fit to be a manager of a hog-pen, a friend of the mayor's threatened Norris by phone then came to his study in the church. After a heated argument Norris pulled out a revolver and shot him dead. They jury let him off the hook by ruling it was self-defense but it didn't help Rev. Norris' reputation. To many people, his behavior is what can be expected of any conservative Christian.
Nevertheless, most Christians hate conflict, especially in a church. We want everything to be peaceful and harmonious. We avoid conflict at all costs. I personally don't pack a gun to settle arguments but I think some conflict is necessary in a church. If a church is attempting anything important, and if anyone has strong feelings about it, then a curtain level of conflict or tension is unavoidable.
Lynn Buzzard who spoke at our Baptist state convention two years ago is a Christian who has spent his career analyzing conflict. He believes a church with no conflicts is one that is suffering from weak pastoral leadership. Either the pastor is failing to inspire anyone enough to care, or he's repressing conflict, or he's encouraging an avoidance of it. Buzzard believes the last option is the most common.
Since conflict is always present, a smart church will try to manage it productively. It's what we do with conflict that counts. Look at the great moments in church history. The greatest moments - the kind that we make movies and write books about - are full of angry, bitter conflict. Maybe I'm prejudiced but it seems to me that Baptists engage in more than our fair share of conflict. We feud, we fight, we split. If we're not mad at each other then we're mad at the denomination. In fifty years the American Baptist denomination has had two major splits. Among Southern Baptists, one out of five pastors leaves a church because they fire him.
I think there are several reasons for our combativeness. First, our goal is to be as pure and dynamic as the church in the New Testament. That's a very high standard to live up to and everyone has their own idea how to attain it. Being a democracy, your idea carries as much weight as anyone else's. Since Baptist churches are controlled on the local level and we have different views on how to attain a high ideal, conflict results. The fact that we're sinners doesn't help either.
The New Testament itself contains a great deal of conflict. Jesus battled Jewish leaders. Paul had run-ins with Jews, pagans and even other believers. Philippians 4 describes a situation we can all identify with - two church women were fighting. One of them was named Euodia (the KJV has it Euodias but that's a man's name). Euodia means "pleasing" in Greek but she wasn't pleased with Syntyche. Both of them were Christians - Paul says their names are recorded in God's book of life. In addition, they must have been fairly spiritual because he calls them fellow-laborers in the gospel. Whatever they were fighting about is not described. My hunch is that Syntyche criticized Euodia's lemon meringue pie at the love feast, or something just as earth-shattering. The result was they were focusing on their problem instead of on the Lord.
Even though conflict is always present in a dynamic church it should not be taken for granted. Conflict becomes very dangerous if it is not resolved. This is why Paul pleads with them to be like-minded. Unity is a major them in the New Testament. In John 17:21 Jesus himself says:
"I pray ... that they may be one, as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me."
Unity does not mean everyone agrees 100% on every point. Unity comes from agreement in the crucial issues and compromise on the lesser ones.
Christians should be more peaceable and agreeable than those in the world but often we are not. Being a Christian has a way of complicating conflict. First, we don't like to acknowledge it exists - conflict is so unspiritual. When we can't avoid conflict we rephrase it in religious terms. Christians can't bring themselves to say, "That ticks me off!" Instead we say, "I don't think it's the Lord's will that . . ." or, "God won't be able to bless us if we . . . ."
If we still don't get our way, we inflate the issue. Let's say the denomination holds a view we don't agree with. We don't mumble, "I have serious reservations about their position." Instead we scream: "The denomination has abandoned the faith - there are hardly any Christians left at headquarters - they're going to bust hell wide open - we must take a stand for righteousness!!" This kind of approach doesn't leave much room for compromise.
If the conflict is over a legal matter, most serious Christians see only two options. One option is to forget it. We don't really forget it, we resent it. But we're not going to do anything about it. "I'm not going to sue you. You ripped me off but I'm going to let you get away with it." "I'm going to think about it once a month." "I really hate your guts!"
The other option is - "I'm going to sue you for all you're worth!" I have my lawyer and you have yours. The whole process drives us farther apart. The only positive thing about suing is that everyone has an opportunity to give their side. The negatives are much more numerous. Once you go to court most of the process is out of your control: the lawyers and judges take over. Whether you win or lose, your relationship with the other person is probably ruined forever. Even if you win, your only compensation will be money. If they robbed you, that may help, but if the issue involves libel or pain, money isn't very appropriate.
These problems help explain why the Apostle Paul tells Christians not be bring lawsuits against each other in 1 Corinthians 6. There are better ways for Christians to resolve personal conflict. One of these ways is to get help from other believers. Paul takes this route with Euodia and Syntyche. In verse 3 he says:
"And I entreat thee also, true yokefellow (comrade is a good modern equivalent) help those women which labored with me in the gospel."
No one knows who this yokefellow guy (or gal?) was but he was fulfilling an honorable task. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus calls it being a "peacemaker." A true peacemaker tries to get both sides together, lets them each give their version of what happened, then sees if everyone can arrive at common ground. Justice may require that restitution in the form of money should be made. However, restitution in the form of public apology may be more appropriate. Christian peace-making involves more than justice. The ultimate goal is always reconciliation, the mending of relationships.
Reconciliation is at the center of the gospel. The Bible says all people are in conflict with God. We sin against the rules he has established for our lives and we pay for it in shattered relationships and a nagging empty feeling in our souls. If God were only concerned about justice he could zap us on the spot but he doesn't. He loves us enough that he wants to bring us back into a relationship of peace with him. Do you have this peace? ...
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Typed on November 9, 2005, by Sharon Lesko of Ledgewood Baptist Church, New Jersey
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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