Rev. David Holwick ZF
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
October 19, 2014
Philippians 4:2-7
|
I. Conflict is a fact of life.
A. Who are we fighting with?
When World War I broke out, the War Ministry in London sent a
coded message to one of the British outposts in a very remote
part of Africa.
The secret message said: "War has been declared.
Arrest all enemy aliens in your district."
Soon after this the War Ministry received a message back: "We
have arrested ten Germans, six Belgians, four Frenchmen,
two Italians, three Austrians and an American.
Please tell us immediately who we are at war with." [1]
1) Usually, we know who it is.
a) It is not always an outright enemy, but someone who
sees things differently than us.
2) If you don't deal with it in a clear way, it can lead to
antagonism and disintegration.
B. It happens often in churches.
1) Zero conflict is actually a bad thing.
Lynn Buzzard is a Christian who has spent his career
analyzing church conflicts.
He believes a church which doesn't have any conflicts is
probably one that is suffering from weak leadership.
Either the pastor is failing to inspire anyone enough
to care, or he's encouraging an avoidance of conflict.
From his experience, usually it is the latter. [2]
2) Instead of avoiding it, manage it.
a) Smart churches can manage conflict productively.
b) The greatest moments in life - the kind that we make
movies and write books about - are usually full
of conflict.
1> Just think of the life of Jesus.
2> The history of the Baptists has plenty of conflict.
3> I have heard that 1 out of 5 Southern Baptist
pastors gets fired during their lifetime. [3]
C. The book of Philippians describes a typical situation.
1) Two Christian leaders are at odds with each other.
2) Paul wants some resolution.
a) As Christians, they should be able to work it out.
b) If they can't, he wants others to jump in.
3) This is an area that every Christian should have some
expertise in.
a) If Christians should be known for their love for one
another, as Jesus said, and peacemakers are blessed,
then resolving conflicts should be a high priority.
II. It takes two to tango.
A. Euodia and Syntyche [syn-TEE-she] are not bad people.
1) Paul says they worked with him in spreading the gospel.
2) "Contended" suggests they faced a lot of opposition.
3) He is convinced they are really saved and their names
are in the book of life.
B. For some reason, they have fallen out with each other.
1) It may have been a cranky quarrel between two old women.
2) More likely, it is a substantial division within the
church leadership.
a) Women made up most of the leadership in the early days
of the church - much like today.
b) The book of Philippians has several appeals to be
like-minded, so apparently they had issues with this.
C. Paul really wants them to work it out.
1) Notice the emphasis on the word "plead."
2) Their conflict was probably tearing the church apart.
3) Because they are Christians and "in the Lord," they need
to settle their disagreement.
III. How can Christians resolve their conflicts?
A. The Bible gives advice and examples.
1) Philippians 2 is an example of a need for reconciliation;
the book of Philemon describes another example.
2) Matthew 5 and Matthew 18 give our Lord's advice on
reconciliation.
a) He uses some humorous exaggeration but his points are
very serious.
b) Here are some factors to consider.
B. Who should take the initiative?
1) In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:23) Jesus says if
you know someone is angry at you, you should go to him.
2) In Matthew 18:15, Jesus says if someone has sinned against
you, you should go to him.
a) Therefore, whether you see yourself as the victim or
the instigator, YOU should take the first step.
b) Don't play the power game where you both hold in the
grudge until the other person caves in.
C. How long should you wait to start the reconciliation?
1) In Matthew 5:24, Jesus says you should do it immediately.
a) He uses the example of someone who is making a
religious offering - drop it and go to the person.
b) It would be like us putting down the communion cup
and driving off to contact them.
2) Don't put it off.
a) Paul's advice in Ephesians 4:26 - do it within 18 hours
(before the sun goes down).
b) Otherwise, Satan ends up winning.
D. Who should win?
1) In bitter arguments we don't want to come to a draw.
a) We want a decisive victory.
b) We want them to bow down with tears and say, "You were
right and I was so so wrong! Please forgive me!"
2) Jesus argues for a win-win approach.
a) In Matthew 18:15 the aim is to win your brother or
sister over.
1> Not to defeat them or neutralize them, but win them.
2> He emphasizes the close family-like relationship
we should have if they are a believer.
b) Paul also stresses this.
1> Relationships are important, even more so if you
are a Christian - we should all be family.
2> The reality is that we fight way too much.
An old ditty, referring to believers as saints,
says this:
To dwell above with saints we love,
That will be grace and glory.
To live below with saints we know;
That's another story!
#6356
IV. If it takes two to tango, it may take three to waltz.
A. Sometimes two people are too stubborn to work it out.
1) Christians, even genuine Christians, can be this way.
2) It does not mean reconciliation is impossible.
B. A third person can make all the difference.
1) In Philippians 2:3, Paul asks someone to intervene.
2) The NIV translates it "fellow yokefellow" or "companion."
a) That could be the description of an anonymous person,
or it could be his name - Syzygus.
b) Some scholars think this word which is singular
actually is referring to a group of people.
3) Either way, Paul hopes Syzygus can reconcile these two.
a) Paul doesn't say confront them, but help them.
1> A person who isn't in the middle of all the drama
may be able to see things more clearly.
2> Like a chemical catalyst, this third person may
be able to break the logjam between the two.
b) The early church believed strongly in working things
out so there would be unity.
V. Outside reconcilers need some finesse.
A. You can't just barge into the situation.
1) You should have a relationship with at least one, but
preferably two, of them.
2) Jesus says to approach it in a progressive way.
a) Go to the warring people one-on-one.
b) If they respond in a positive way, your job is done.
c) If they still resist, then bring others into the mix.
1> Eventually you may have to involve the whole church.
2> But don't do that right away because it comes across
as ganging up.
3> Use the minimum intervention possible.
B. When should you intervene?
1) Intervene only when the conflict doesn't seem like it is
being resolved.
2) Intervene only if you can make a positive difference.
a) The wrong third person can make things a lot worse.
b) It may be that the Lord wants a different third person
to step in.
c) You have to be honest with yourself about your
track record in these situations.
C. Repaired relationships allow the Lord to be honored.
1) In verses 4 to 7, Paul describes the atmosphere of a
truly spiritual fellowship.
a) There is continual rejoicing in what God has done.
b) There is gentleness and love that even outsiders
will notice.
c) Instead of stress, they take their problems to
the Lord in prayer.
d) And God gives them peace within themselves and
among themselves.
2) That is the kind of atmosphere I want us to keep in
Ledgewood Baptist.
a) We work well together.
b) And when we don't, we should fix it quickly.
VI. One reconciliation should supercede all others.
A. Have you been reconciled to God?
B. Jesus came to bring peace between us and our Heavenly Father.
=========================================================================
SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
]1] Paul Lee Tan, Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations. (Rockville, MD:
Assurance Publishers), 1574.
[2] From a talk by Lynn Buzzard at the Ohio Baptist Convention annual
meeting, sometimes in the mid-1980s.
[3] "Control Issues Head List for Pastoral Terminations," by Chris Turner,
<http://www.sbclife.net/Articles/2012/10/sla7>:
“Reports from twenty-two state Baptist conventions compiled by the
Alabama Baptist Convention over a two-year period (2009-2011)
indicate that 2 percent of pastors, and 4 percent of staff ministers,
will be terminated. While those percentages may seem small,
multiplied by the total number of churches that cooperate with the
Southern Baptist Convention, they translate into more than eight
hundred ministers who are asked to leave their positions each year.”
Holwick: In previous years the number of fired SBC pastors has been
as high as 1,300. Even at 2% a year, over a 35-year ministry the
odds would be 70% to an individual. Of course, some pastors are
fired repeatedly and others leave the ministry for good after their
first forced termination so the actual odds would be lower.
#6356 “To Live Above With Saints …” (no author given), Roddy Chestnut
Illustration Collection, January 15, 2006.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
=========================================================================
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
Created with the Freeware Edition of HelpNDoc: Easy to use tool to create HTML Help files and Help web sites