Rev. David Holwick ZD Family Improvement #1
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
September 19, 2004
Matthew 7:24-27
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I. Hurricane Ivan's destruction.
A. Mansions on sand.
CBS News on Sept 16 showed helicopter view of coast two
days before storm, then the day after.
The "before" looked like million dollar condos.
The "after" looked like a lumber sale.
Reason - storm surge undermined their sandy foundations,
and everything came tumbling down.
B. Houses aren't the only thing that need foundations.
1) Saying of Jesus: "House divided against itself will fall."
a) He's not talking about buildings, but families.
b) It is obvious we have many divided houses among us.
2) How can we make our families strong?
a) Plenty of forces are trying to tear us down.
b) Much of it has to do with the philosophy of our society.
Ravi Zacharias was doing a lectureship at Ohio State University.
As he was being driven to the lecture hall, they passed the
new Wexner Art Center.
The driver said, "This is a new art building for the university.
It is a fascinating building designed in the post-modernist
view of reality."
The building has no pattern.
Staircases go nowhere.
Pillars support nothing.
The architect designed the building to reflect life.
It went nowhere and was mindless and senseless.
Ravi turned to the man describing it and asked, "Did they do
the same thing with the foundation?"
He laughed.
You can't do that with a foundation.
Once you start tampering with the foundations, you begin to see
the serious effects.
Yet the foundations are in jeopardy; the foundations of our
families are steadily eroding. #28387
c) We need to find the glue to hold us together.
II. What is your family built upon? (Be honest)
A. People get married for love.
1) You will make me happy.
2) Reality tends to intrude.
Charles Lowery tells the story of the salesman who sat down
in a restaurant to order breakfast.
He said to the waitress, "Bring me some burnt toast, some
watered-down scrambled eggs and some weak, cold coffee."
The waitress looked at him quizzically and asked, "What
else would you like?'
He said, "When you bring it, sit down across from me and
nag me. I'm homesick." [1]
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In the comic strip "Pardon my Planet" by Vic Lee, there is
one panel with two couples sitting facing one another.
The radio is playing music.
One of the characters says, "Hey Norris, they're playing
our song."
Another character speaks up and says, "When Jonas and I
were dating, our song was `I wanna hold your hand.'
Then after 15 years of marriage it was `We can work it
out.'
Now it's "If I had a hammer'. . . ." [2]
B. People get married for success.
1) Make a good life together.
2) See that your kids do well.
3) But when your kids are gone and you've bought all the toys
there are, what then?
C. People get married because that's what you're supposed to do.
1) Sometimes we seem to be imprinted.
a) We don't know why we do it, we just do it.
2) Bible: marriage is a gift from God.
a) Not everyone has the gift.
b) God may want you to be single.
3) If you enter it blindly, you may regret it quickly.
a) Brittney Spears marriage.
b) Other Hollywood-types.
c) Local types, too.
III. We need a more solid foundation for marriage.
A. We must live for something beyond ourselves.
1) Writer Leo Tolstoy, in a letter to his son:
The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage,
but to bring more love and truth into the world.
We marry to assist each other in this task.
The most selfish and hateful life of all is that of two
beings who unite in order to enjoy life.
The highest calling is that of the man who has dedicated
his life to serving God and doing good, and who unites
with a woman in order to further that purpose."
#2156
2) Sociology backs it up - religious couples are happiest.
B. Biblical principle: Jesus must be our foundation.
1) Every other foundation will crumble.
IV. What makes a Christian family?
A. More than being religious.
1) It is not sitting around reading the Bible and saying,
"Praise the Lord" all the time.
2) It is not going to church three times a month.
B. A desire to honor God.
1) Involvement in church is only part of this, but an
important part. We need fellowship with others.
2) Focus on presence of Christ in daily affairs.
3) Pray together.
C. Making spirituality a goal.
1) We care where our loved ones stand with the Lord.
V. How to build a Christian family.
A. Pray that each member will acknowledge Christ as Savior.
1) Two families had three family members saved this week.
2) If members of your family are not saved, what do you think
the reason is?
3) Can you do anything about it?
a) There are no guarantees we can save everyone.
b) However, Christians in a family can have a sanctifying
effect on the non-believers.
B. Deal with sin.
1) We are not perfect, and need to be challenged.
This is good news, according to John Alexander.
He says sin is the best news there is.
Because with sin there's a way out.
You can't repent of confusion or psychological flaws
inflicted by your parents -- you're stuck with them.
But you can repent of sin.
Sin and repentance are the only grounds for hope and joy,
the grounds for reconciled, joyful relationships.
#28397
2) Identify areas of sin in your family.
a) Selfishness.
b) Corrupt practices.
c) Anger and rage.
3) Don't just put up with each other, but call each other
to a higher obedience to Christ.
C. Exhibit grace to each other.
1) Phone call this week: "Christians are mean."
a) Too often true.
b) Many young people have a hard time believing in Jesus
because of the actions of their Christian parents.
2) Evidence of grace:
a) Forgiveness and tolerance.
b) Love, through thick and thin.
D. Encourage each other in Christian virtues.
1) Verbal reinforcement makes a difference.
2) Reward good behavior.
a) Favorite saying of Glenn Gunderson:
"You get what you affirm."
E. Serve God together.
1) Have a family mission.
a) Sponsor a child overseas.
b) Support a missionary together.
c) Do a ministry in this church.
2) Christian values aren't just something you believe, but
what you do.
VI. Firm families make a difference.
A. They are a shelter in the time of storm.
B. They provide a legacy that continues for generations.
C. They honor God and are blessed by him.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
[1] "A Snapshot Of Encouragement," by Charles Lowery, in REV. (magazine),
July 11, 2002, page 118.
[2] Vic Lee, distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc. Published in
the Los Angeles TIMES (May 18, 2003), p. H-5.
Both of these illustrations are from the sermon "The Foundation of a Great
Marriage" by Rev. Ron Moore of Anastasia Baptist Church (Southern Baptist) in
St. Augustine, Florida. June 1, 2003. Sermon #16518 in Kerux Database.
# 2156 "Bring More Love Into The World," by Liz Smith (quoting Leo Tolstoy),
Daily Record Newspaper of Parsippany, New Jersey, June 14, 1992.
#28387 "No Tampering With The Foundation," by Ravi Zacharias, in
SermonCentral.com weekly email, September 8, 2004.
#28397 "The Good News About Sin," by John Alexander (quoted in Student
Leadership Journal, Fall 2000, page 23); submitted by Craig Watters,
Senior Pastor First Baptist Church of Louisville, Colorado. Found
at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/illustrate/message830
These and 25,000 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,
absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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