Rev. David Holwick ZB Sermon on the Mount series
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
August 13, 1989
Matthew 5:27-30
JESUS ON ADULTERY AND LUST
"You have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Jesus is quoting from the seventh of the Ten Commandments. But he could just as well be quoting from the Law Code of Hammurabi, or the laws of any ancient civilization. For thousands of years, adultery has been against the law. This means it has been popular for just as long.
When Kinsey did his landmark study on sexual behavior back in the 1950's he found that 25% of all married women had been unfaithful. Today it is estimated that 40% of them have been unfaithful, and 60% of the husbands. This means that there is at least a 50/50 chance in any marriage that infidelity will occur.
With figures like these it is easy to see why adultery seems to be universal. What is surprising is that cheating is not limited to unhappy marriages. As a matter of fact, in scientific surveys, 6 out of 10 of those who are unfaithful say their marriage is "good" or even "very good."
The present condition has often been attributed to the "New Morality" that arose in the 1960's. The New Morality is based on 2 convictions -
1. First, that the proper thing to do in any situation is determined by the situation itself. The commands in the Bible, or any other authority, are not valid.
2. Second, that the only absolute standard is "love." Anything is OK as long as it does not hurt the other person.
Therefore, according to the New Morality it is not necessarily wrong to commit adultery. It's just important that you have good intentions toward those who are involved.
Those who hold to this philosophy often go one step further - adultery is not only acceptable, it can also strengthen your marriage. The reasoning is that cheating provides an outlet for the frustrations that come from an unfulfilling marriage. Once you release your frustrations, you will find it easier to iron out problems with your spouse.
A few years ago a researcher named Linda Wolfe wrote a book on infidelity in marriage. She interviewed 66 women and found that 21 of them said they were having affairs to save their marriages. Five years later the researcher checked up on them to see if it worked. Only 3 out of 21 were still married - fully 81% were divorced.
A lot of talk about adultery is wishful thinking. You can tell yourself it is harmless or even beneficial, but you are only deceiving yourself. However acceptable a person may find adultery in the abstract, the whole picture changes when they face the realities of unfaithfulness. Many men are surprised to find that they don't view their wife's cheating with the same air of unconcern they may have for their own affairs.
Some people talk about "open" marriages. The fact remains that most husbands and wives react with anger and hurt when they find out about a spouse's cheating. What you may justify for yourself you will not tolerate from your mate.
A husband in Osnabruck, Germany, found this out the hard way. Patricia Hager found him with another woman. So she bound him, gagged him, and marinated him in a bathtub filled with ten gallons of salad oil and two pounds of garlic cloves. Then she started a roaring fire in the barbecue and screamed that she was going to roast him. For six hours she kept it up, until the police made her stop. [#689]
No matter what you think about the Bible, there is a lot of wisdom in the Seventh Commandment. Those who break it can expect bitter fruit from the experience.
(Campolo on a cheating woman:)
Lonely woman met widower at church, had an affair. She had no guilt or remorse. "He makes me feel wonderful about myself and I help to meet some of his needs," she told Campolo. "Nobody's hurt. Nobody suffers."
Campolo responded, "What about Jesus?" [#758]
Our sin causes him to suffer, even if no one else suffers.
Some are now squirming. Perhaps you are having an affair right now. Or you had one in past, and it pops in your mind whenever you take Communion. Others are smug. You have always been faithful. You're not scum like these others around you.
Nevertheless, Jesus says physical faithfulness is only half of the answer. He says God's real intentions run much deeper. In verse 28 he explicitly lays these intentions out:
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart."
This is pretty much the same thing as the Tenth Commandment - we should not covet. I have never been unfaithful to my wife. But as for the coveting - that's another ball game. It is almost impossible to exist in our society without being exposed to sexually explicit books, movies, even songs.
Monks in the Dark Ages fought a losing battle with lust. How could we be expected to do any better? Let's face it - most Christians today do not have the high standards in regard to sex that are taught in the Bible. A survey of Christian teenagers found that 60% of them did not think premarital sex was wrong.
We may think that the Bible's standards are too unrealistic. Look at Jesus' solution to the problem - cut off your hand or pluck out your eye. If we took that seriously, I would be looking at a lot of "blind Baptists." I don't see a single one who has taken this verse at face value. The ancient theologian Origen is said to have taken it literally and castrated himself to cure lust - and even back then they thought he was weird.
Even though Jesus' teaching is very strict, it contains important insight. Sin does not begin with an act. Sin begins with a thought, and results in an act. Some here who have been physically pure may be very corrupt in their minds, and ready for a fall.
I do not believe Jesus really expects us to mutilate ourselves. But I do think he wants us to take sin seriously. Sin can affect us for eternity, unless we do something about it. Even if we gouge out our eyes we can still lust in our hearts. Therefore we have to change our hearts.
This process begins when we make Jesus the Lord and Savior of our lives. When this happens you receive the Holy Spirit, and he will:
1. Make you feel guilty for sin.
2. Give you the power to defeat sin.
As our hearts are changed we should also focus on our relationships. Many sociologists have commented that affairs are exciting because they are so unrealistic. True love must deal with the hassles and problems of day-to-day living. If you reverse the circumstances, a spouse can be as exciting as a lover.
The goal of Christians should be to face up to the difficulties of life and still enjoy the love of our spouse.
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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