Matthew 18:23-35      Can You Give As Good As You Get?

Rev. David Holwick   K                            Parables of Jesus

First Baptist Church                              Palm Sunday

Ledgewood, New Jersey

March 20, 2016

                                                  Matthew 18:23-35


               CAN YOU GIVE AS GOOD AS YOU GET?



  I. Would you be able to do this?


     It was September 9, 1981.

     Clark and Vicki Sheldon had just moved to this area.

        They were living out of a motel because they hadn't found a house.

     As they stopped at a red light on Route 46 in Dover, a station wagon

        barreled down on them at a high rate of speed.

     His license had been revoked.  The second time.

     The driver had a long history of drug use, but he wasn't on drugs

        that day.

     Perhaps his mind was thinking about his crumbling marriage.

        No one will ever know.


     What we do know is that his station wagon hit the Sheldon's car

        so hard they flipped over into the intersection.

     The hatchback flew open and their two young daughters were ejected.

        Very young - Katy was 2, and Lyndsi was 3.

     Both were killed.


     The funeral service was held at Ledgewood Baptist.

     They didn't know anyone in town, but the accident was so tragic

        the church was packed.

     Everyone who was there remembers only one detail of the service,

        but they remember it perfectly.

     The Sheldons, both still recovering from injuries, got up and spoke

        to the congregation.

     They said they believed it was all part of God's plan.

     Just as their daughters used to bounce in the back seat of the car,

        they were now bouncing in heaven, with God was taking care of them.


     And they wanted everyone there to forgive the young man for what

        had happened.

     They said they held no bad feelings for him.

        After the service, they got on with their lives.

                                                                    #4284


      A. The reaction of our church.

          1) I have talked to a variety of people from our church who

                remember this service.

              a) Everyone felt that the Sheldons must have been real

                    Christians - and perhaps a little nuts.

              b) Several felt it was almost obscene to forgive their

                    girls' killer.

          2) What do you think?

              a) In their situation, what would YOU do?

              b) As a Christian, what SHOULD you do?


      B. A test on whether you are a forgiving person:

          1) Does memory of how someone hurt you still stir up pain?

          2) Do you ever daydream about an enemy, and imagine really

                bad things happening to them?

          3) Is there someone you haven't spoken to - deliberately?


II. What's wrong with forgiveness.

      A. It is unnatural.

          1) Animals don't forgive predators. (sharks and dolphins)

              a) Dogs eat dogs.  Orcas don't shed any tears.

              b) Nations and economies operate on this principle.

              c) Freud: "One must forgive one's enemies, but not before

                    they've been hanged."

          2) Best-known saying of Jesus: "Forgive your enemies."

              a) Seems suicidal.

              b) If forgiveness was natural, you would think it would

                    be easier.


      B. It is unfair.

          1) Our sense of justice yearns to be vindicated.

              a) More directly:  we want revenge.

                  1> In the Bible, the first case of vengeance is by

                        a man named Lamech.

                     In Genesis 4:23 he announces, "I have killed a man

                        for wounding me, a young man for injuring me.

                     If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech 77 times."

                  2> It is an attitude that is still alive today.

              b) A grim example from Iraq, 2007.


                 The sectarian bloodshed was in full swing.

                 Three men, a pair of brothers and a friend, were

                    ambushed by a Shiite militia group for no reason.

                 Only one of the brothers survived.


                 At the morgue the survivor vowed to kill one hundred

                    of the militia in revenge - ten men for each of his

                       brother's fingers.

                 His mother supported him in this, and even recruited

                    another young man to help him.


                 They were very cunning.

                 At the funeral they denounced a local Sunni tribe for

                    the deaths, not the Shiite militia.

                 They then worked for the Americans as informers, and

                    didn't accept any pay.

                 Many of those they informed on were their enemies.


                 Then they started killing.

                 They tortured some men to get them to turn over more

                    names, then killed the whole group.

                 After 15 days, they went to the survivor's mother

                    and told her who they had killed.

                 She said she would feel even better if they brought

                    her parts of their dead bodies.


                 They said they wouldn't stop until they had reached

                    their goal of 100 victims.

                 The surviving brother said he didn't like to do it,

                    but he had to.

                 He said, "We had to kill these guys, because they were

                    killing too many people."


                 That is the logic of vengeance.

                    It is only satisfied when everyone is dead.

                                                                   #19953

          2) Forgiving may let a bad person off the hook.

              a) They may do it again.

              b) Megan's Law:  should we forgive sex offenders??

              c) The only ones who should be forgiven is US.

          3) This unnatural, unfair trait is at heart of Christianity.


III. A little perspective helps.

      A. A vast sum is owed.                                   Matt 18:24

          1) 100 talents of silver hired 100,000 mercenaries.  2 Chr 25:6

          2) Queen of Sheba gave Solomon 120 talents of gold.  1 Kg 10:10

          3) Solomon earned 666 talents a year at peak.        1 Kg 10:14

          4) BIG bucks - 10,000 talents is like the national debt.


      B. He is not able to pay.

          1) Family and possessions are ordered sold to defray the debt.

              a) How much would you get for your family?

              b) Defrays maybe one talent.   9,999 to go.

          2) "Be patient - I'll pay back everything!"               18:26


      C. The king's reaction.

          1) Takes pity, forgives debt, lets him go.

          2) The far-out details hint at something supernatural.

              a) The huge amount of money.

              b) The pitiful attempt to defray the debt.

              c) The ludicrous offer to pay back.

              d) Super-generous forgiveness of debt by master.

          3) The parable must go beyond human situation to the Divine one.


IV. What the parable is really about.

      A. Every one of us is in great debt to God.

          1) Debt = sins.

              a) Compare the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:12.

          2) We think of our sins as small debts.  Actually, they're huge.

              a) Our debts are to God, and not in comparison with others.

              b) A single sin separates you from God.

          3) There is no possible way we can pay God back.

              a) You can't roll them over on your VISA.

              b) Any attempt to deal with it on our own is futile.


                 Want a real-life example?


                 Michael Graham was an executive of The First National

                    Bank of Keystone, West Virginia.

                 He embezzled and laundered money caused the bank to

                    fail.


                 He was sentenced to 12 years in prison and ordered

                    to pay $515 million in restitution, at the rate of

                       $300 a month.

                 At that rate, even with zero interest, it will take

                    him 143,000 years to pay off his debt.

                                                                   #22100


                 That is the situation we are all in, spiritually.


      B. God forgives our debt.

          1) Not because we have earned it, but because he is gracious.

              a) He offers to do this for us if we put our faith and

                    trust in Jesus Christ.

          2) It is a popular doctrine.

              a) Everyone wants to BE forgiven.

              b) We automatically assume God desires to accept us, and

                    will do whatever it takes to bring it about.


  V. But the parable is not done yet...

      A. The forgiven debtor finds someone who owes him.            18:28

          1) A denarius is a day's wage, so not a pittance, but not huge.

              a) I think of it as $10,000.

          2) The servant chokes him and demands payment.

              a) Buddy offers to pay him back (same terms as above).

              b) The servant refuses, and throws him into debtor prison.

              c) Other servants inform the king.

          3) The response of the king.

              a) I showed mercy - shouldn't you?

              b) He is thrown into prison to be tortured until the

                   debt is paid.  (which will be never)


      B. Why is the king so forgiving, yet so ruthless?

          1) A God of such compassion and mercy cannot possibly accept

                as his those who are devoid of compassion and mercy.

          2) Those who can't forgive are incapable of accepting

                forgiveness.

          3) If you can accept Christ's forgiveness, then you can forgive.

              a) But will you?


VI. How we can forgive others.

      A. Forgiveness is hard, but unforgiveness is even harder.

          1) Bitterness can eat at us, even destroy us.

          2) It will devour our relationships.

          3) Unforgiving people end up all alone.


      B. God can help us forgive.

          1) Keep in mind what God has done for you.

          2) Take a small first step.

          3) Ask for God's help.

          4) Think of the ultimate goal - the salvation of all involved.


      C. Forgiveness changes people.


           About nine months later the state prosecuted the young man on

              the charge of "vehicular manslaughter."

           It was the first time New Jersey had done this.

           In the end, the jury found him not guilty, but convicted him

              of "death by auto" instead.

           He served a year in prison and was released.


           He told his sister-in-law that he had changed the things in

              himself that had caused the accident.

           He quit drugs, and changed his devil-may-care attitude.

              He goes to Alcoholics Anonymous three or four times a week.

           He also stops by the Dover Soup Kitchen and helps out, and

              talks to addicts at the Hope House.


           His family was devastated and shamed by the accident.

              A year later, his father died of cancer.

           The relatives got tired of hiding, and decided to do what they

              could to get their good name back.

           The mother helps take care of quintuplets in the area.

              His sister-in-law got involved in community projects.


           None of this will bring two little girls back to life.

              Only God can do this.


           When we forgive, we are announcing that we believe God is

              still in charge, that he will work things out in the end.


           If you really believe in God, REALLY BELIEVE, you can extend

              the gift of grace, forgiveness, to those who wrong you.


          1) Who do you need to forgive right now?

          2) Pray for them - and for yourself.



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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


# 4284  They Forgave Their Children's Killer, Rev. David Holwick, with

           details by Marilyn Patterson who witnessed the accident,

           March 1, 1998.


#19953  He Killed Ten For Every Finger, Jon Lee Anderson, The New Yorker

           magazine, November 19, 2007; edited by Rev. David Holwick.


#22100  $515 Million In Restitution, Associated Press, January 19, 2002.


These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be

downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html

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