Rev. David Holwick
First Baptist Church
West Lafayette, Ohio
August 11, 1985
The Family of God
Matthew 12:46-50, NIV
When you review our history, there has been only one decent decade out of the last century.
In 1910 and following there was World War I. In the Twenties there was Prohibition and gangsters like Al Capone. The Thirties contained the Great Depression. In the Forties we saw World War II and the atom bomb. The Sixties had racial unrest and Vietnam, as did the Seventies which also had to suffer through terrible inflation. Only one decade stands out as being halfway decent - the 50's.
How many here were born in the 50's? Proof!
You'll never meet anyone born in the 50's that isn't young, vibrant and successful. Actually, the Fifties weren't perfect. But in one sense they were a Golden Age.
The generation that followed World War II made some crucial changes in the institutions that shape America. One of these institutions was the family. Everyone knows we've always had families. But in the Fifties our attitudes and expectations about families changed.
Families became nuclear - that means instead of having grandparents and uncles and lots of other relatives under one roof you only had parents and kids. One point eight to be exact.
Financial security - the 1950's family lived in a split-level in the suburbs. The father drove the station wagon to his advertising agency while the mother puttered around her immaculate house. If anything has immortalized this vision of the perfect American family it has been TV shows like "Leave it to Beaver", "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best". On these shows there is no divorce, no layoffs or financial hardship and no real tension. If there was any conflict, it was over something earth shattering like who would wash the dishes.
The ideal 1950's family is comforting to look back on. It has also caused a great deal of suffering. There isn't one real family that can match the one on TV. Real families experience sickness, tight finances and frustration. They also fight.
Some of my most vivid memories of childhood were fighting with my sister. We didn't just yell, we slugged each other. On long trips my mom drew a line down the middle of the back seat - No-Man's Land. Upon pain of death, no portion of your body could cross that line. Buy after my sister violated it, I had to respond. Soon we would both be hunkering down on the floor while my mom's fingernails raked the air for us. We weren't horribly bad but we weren't anywhere near the ideal. And I feel guilty because of it.
There are many guilty families in the world. Someone in the church told me a saying that rings true:
"When your children are little they break your things; when they are old they break your heart."
This is nothing new. One of the saddest families in history must have been King David's. Even though the prophet Samuel warned against it, David married many wives and had concubines on the side. This wasn't quite enough, so he committed adultery with Bathsheba. All of his full-fledged wives produced nineteen sons.
It was a happy family -
The first born son, Amnon, raped his half-sister.
Her brother, Absalom, got even by murdering Amnon.
A few years later, Absalom seized the kingdom from his father David.
David's general saw to it that Absalom was killed.
When David was on his deathbed, the fourth son tried to take over.
He was defeated when his half-brother Solomon had him killed.
The effect of all this, on David is shown in miniature when he hears of Absalom's death. In 2 Samuel 18:33 it says:
The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you -- O Absalom, my son, my son!"
We don't tend to associate this kind of family with the greatest king of the Old Testament. David was spiritual and spiritual people aren't supposed to have problems. But he did and I don't think he's alone in this. Many of our families present a brave face to the world but within there is a lot of suffering and alienation.
God doesn't want it to be this way. He won't necessarily transform you into Ozzie and Harriett but he can bring about profound changes within any family. Part of the solution involves obeying the principles found in the Bible. Scripture commands us to be faithful to our spouses - if we break our vows we should not expect a warm and loving relationship to exist at home.
The Bible also tells us to discipline our children. That doesn't mean you have to beat them with a 2 x 4. Discipline is setting realistic standards of conduct for your children and backing them up with rewards as well as punishments.
Personal habits like alcohol, drugs and gambling can also destroy a family, as can an undisciplined approach to finances. The Bible gives instruction in all these areas.
The Bible talks about more than the way we live. A greater issue is who we're going to be. By nature we are all selfish and rebellious, both against God and the demands others make on us. The answer is to be changed from the inside out.
Jesus Christ came to earth to do precisely this. If anyone will confess their sins to Jesus and accept him as the Leader of their life, he promises to change the kind of person they are. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
When a person becomes born-again the changes should spill over into their families. This is perhaps the toughest battleground because you can't fake it around them. Becoming a Christian makes your family a lot larger, too. One of the greatest promises in the Bible is that God brings us into his heavenly family. In Matthew 12:50 Jesus says our spiritual family is more important than our earthly one. He doesn't really reject his family but shows us that in the perspective of eternity, our human relationships are secondary.
The family of God has a lot to look forward to in heaven. There will be no more suffering or hardship. And in the presence of God, we will have closer relationships with other believers that we ever had in our families on earth.
You may think you know your parents or spouse inside and out but you don't. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul says it is in heaven, when perfection comes, that we will know everyone and everything, just like God knows us now.
The family of God is not limited to heaven. Turn in your Bibles to Mark 10:28. It says:
Peter said to him, "We have left everything to follow you!" "I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields -- and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.
Jesus can only be talking about the church in this passage, because nature only gives us one biological mother.
Our church family is certainly a large one and you can experience it at the present time but often it doesn't seem very heavenly. Just like in our imperfect earthly families, churches have been known to feud and fight. Many others are known for their lack of friendliness and acceptance. It isn't because these churches lack fellowship halls or newsletters. It is because the members don't care.
Many people who are missing love and fulfillment in their families will try out a church.
What if they came to ours?
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Typed on March 31, 2005, by Sharon Lesko of Ledgewood Baptist Church, New Jersey
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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