Rev. David Holwick
First Baptist Church
West Lafayette, Ohio
September 8, 1985
Christ in Your Family
Joshua 24:14-15, NIV
"But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord"
This is probably the best known verse in the book of Joshua and it reveals something that faces every family.
What is the glue that holds your family together?
What is the focus, the goal of your family?
In many families the focus is all inward. Two people get married, have kids and try to succeed financially. The biggest goals may be to buy a comfortable house and keep the kids out of jail. The glue holding these families together is always summarized by one word- LOVE.
They get married because they love each other. They stay married because they love each other. When I do pre-marriage counseling, I ask each couple to list the reasons they want to marry each other. It's a waste of time. Every single person has given three reasons:
1: I love her.
2: She loves me.
3: We love each other.
For once I want to hear someone say: She's got a great figure. That's crass but it's the main reason a lot of people get married.
When the thrill wears off, disillusionment can set in. Maybe they feel they no longer love each other and only stay together because of the kids.
Love is a beautiful thing to have in a family - I want every family to have it. But love makes a lousy focus. It's based too much on emotions, which can change from day to day.
The alternative to an inward, suffocating focus, is for a family to have a goal that is beyond itself. The best goal a family can have is the one Joshua challenged his people with - to fear God and serve him in sincerity and truth. Researchers have found that religious families are more contented and stable. The benefits of putting God first in your family are many. By looking to the Bible we find guidelines on how to live. These guidelines aren't the advice of some columnist but are the eternal commands from God.
In addition to the Bible, Christians can receive guidance directly from God. If you are concerned about finances, your children, or the direction of your career, you can pray to God about all these things. God can give you answers to your questions by giving you assurance about what you should do. He can also change the situation you are concerned about.
Another benefit of committing your family to God is that you are focusing on something bigger than yourselves. No matter how great your spouse is or how wonderful your kids, they are going to have weaknesses and personality flaws that will discourage you. Careers can also lead to disappointment. This is often called a mid-life crisis. A man finds his career in a dead-end, he's bored with his wife and kids and all the responsibilities they represent, so he runs off with a sixteen-year-old.
The Christian faith never loses its challenge. You can get lazy or give up on God but if you are willing to make the commitment, God will always give you new goals when old ones are reached.
This perspective is important when tragedy hits a family. We always imagine ourselves as being strong and steadfast but a crisis has a way of breaking down the toughest people. There is a common belief that in times of crisis most families will band together and help each other out, like on the Waltons. Unfortunately, the opposite more often happens - the family members become isolated and hostile.
Every family needs a focus outside themselves which doesn't shift with events. As the old hymn puts it, we need a rock which is higher than we are.
Christ can be present in a family at a variety of levels. The first level is when a single member is a Christian. This can be pretty discouraging, especially if you are a wife or child. You may be tempted to hide your faith so that it won't cause any problems. But even as the only Christian in your family, you can have an impact. Turn to 1 Corinthians 7:14. It says:
"For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
The word "sanctified" does not mean the non-Christians in the family are saved. It means God is working in their lives in a special way, through the witness of their loved one. Calvin says on this verse -
"The godliness of the one spouse does more to sanctify their marriage, than ungodliness of the other does to make it unclean."
Christians can make a positive impact on their family primarily by their loving and patient example. 1 Peter 3 says your lifestyle will be more effective than any sermon.
Maybe someone in your family is not saved. How much does that concern you? Are you trying to set a Christian example for them so they will be impressed by the gospel? Are you praying for their salvation and actually expecting God to do something? As the years go by it is easy to become complacent and think your family will never change. According to church growth experts, you shouldn't give up. They say more people are saved through families than any other source. The Bible itself gives evidence of this. In John 1:40-42 it says:
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus.
Andrew found his brother and he brought him to Jesus. The apostle Paul had many relatives who came to believe in Christ. And even the Lord himself saw his family become saved after his resurrection.
The spirit of God often moves within families. An amazing example has occurred in Brazil. At the turn of the century great numbers of Italians moved to Brazil. In 1910 an Italian who had immigrated to Chicago heard the gospel in an evangelical church and converted. Without any money, Louis Francescon moved to Brazil to preach to his countrymen. A few of them were saved and told their families about their experiences. When their immediate families were converted they began working on uncles and nephews and third cousins. Within fifty years the church started by Mr. Francescon had baptized four hundred thousand people, all of them from Italian families. We get a taste of this when the Browns fill a whole section of our pews.
Our families are one of the best mission fields we have. But we won't see any results unless we ourselves are being obedient to God.
I believe that no Christian is going to be effective unless they are trying to get closer to God everyday. The best way to do this is to spend a certain amount of time in prayer and Bible reading. When you pray, reflect on your life and what you have to offer your family. You should also pray for each member of your family by name. By reading the Bible we come to find out what God's will is. The Bible is much more than ancient history and poems. Whenever you read it, you should be asking God how each passage can apply to our life.
One way that every family can focus on God together is by attending Sunday school and church. I'll admit I have a selfish reason for telling you to come to church - I don't want to preach to empty pews. But God doesn't want me to, either. Hebrews 10:25 says,
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another."
You can be saved without ever attending church. This is theoretically possible. But I can't see how you can be effective for Christ. He never thought of salvation as being a purely private matter. It's always been just the opposite - wherever there have been a handful of Christians, they have tried to meet together.
Our church is geared to meet just about any spiritual need. We have Sunday school to teach about the Bible. If you don't know anything, you can come to learn. If you already know everything, you might as well teach. Sunday school is essential but it is not a substitute for church. In Sunday school we learn about God but in church we experience him.
For all the activities, one thing is essential - Live your faith in your family. If you do, twenty years from now your kids won't say, "My parents forced me to go the church" but they'll say, "I came to know the Lord through my family."
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Sermon typed by Sharon Lesko on April 14, 2005.
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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