John 15_12-17      Jesus As A Friend

Rev. David Holwick  ZO             "A FRESH LOOK AT JESUS" sermon series

First Baptist Church

Ledgewood, New Jersey

December 6, 1998

John 15:12-17


WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS



SERMON SUMMARY:  Jesus was a friend to his disciples but he also needed

     friends himself.  Christians can learn from Jesus on how to nurture

     relationships.



  I. What would it be like to run into Jesus?

      A. He gets a lot of attention this month.

          1) Everybody must adore him.

              a) In reality, he is more of an excuse than a reason.

              b) Most people like to party and get gifts.

          2) The real neat thing about Christmas.

              a) Bible says God became a man.

                  1> Fully divine, fully human.

                  2> Hard for us to grasp.

                  3> Even most Christians relegate him to lofty heaven.

              b) How do you view Jesus?


      B. Learning about Jesus teaches us about ourselves.

          1) Since the Bible says he was the only perfect human, we

                can find out much about ourselves by looking at him.

          2) This series will try to take a new look at him and how

                we can know him.


      C. Jesus was fully human, just as much as us.

          1) It wasn't a thin veneer like in Sci-Fi "alien movies."

          2) If he needed something, we need it as well.

          3) One thing Jesus needed was relationships.


II. Everybody needs somebody.

      A. Loneliness is not God's will for us.

          1) From beginning, we were created to need others.     Gen 2:18

          2) We can live without others, but at a terrible price.


            Charles Swindoll gives a vivid description of one poor

               rich man:

            Howard Hughes was one of the richest men in the world, with

               the destinies of thousands of people -- perhaps even of

                    governments -- at his disposal.

            Yet he lived a sunless, joyless, half-lunatic life.

            In his later years he fled from one resort hotel to another

               -- Las Vegas, Nicaragua, Acapulco.

            His physical appearance become odder and odder.

            His straggly beard hung to his waist and his hair reached

               to the middle of his back.

            His fingernails were two inches long, and his toenails hadn't

               been trimmed for so long they resembled corkscrews.


            "As far as I know," a Hughes confidant once said, "he's

               never loved any woman.

            It's sex, or a good secretary, or good box office--that is

               all a woman means to him."

            Hughes often said, "Every man has his price or a guy like me

               couldn't exist."

            Yet no amount of money bought the affection of his

               associates.

            Most of his employees who have broken the silence report

               their disgust for him.


            Why was Hughes so isolated and so lonely?

            Why with almost unlimited money, hundreds of aides, and

               countless beautiful women available to him, was he so

                   unloved?

            Simply because he chose to be.

            It is an old truth that God gave us things to use and

               people to enjoy.

            Hughes never learned to enjoy people.

               He was too busy manipulating them.

                                                                    #1575


      B. By contrast, Jesus DID learn to enjoy people.

          1) Jesus desired intimate closeness and he achieved it.

          2) His ministry on earth was basically spent pouring himself

                into twelve ordinary men.


III. Jesus cared about his friends.

      A. He put their needs ahead of his own.

          1) Evidence in feeding 5,000 and walking on water.  Mark 6:45-50

              a) Fed people because he had compassion on them.

              b) He sent disciples ahead to rest.

          2) He must have been dead tired himself.


      B. He always had time for them.

          1) His words of assurance as he walked on the water didn't

                just prove he was Son of God, but that he wanted to

                   help them out.

          2) When his ministry got most intense, he took them to a

                beautiful secluded area to "de-compress."

          3) He wanted to be with them.

              a) Temptation of modern world - passive, isolated

                    entertainment.

              b) Most recent example is the Internet, where even those

                    who communicate daily feel no intimacy.


      C. Jesus even had a favorite friend.

          1) The apostle John is described as "the one whom Jesus loved."

          2) Pretty remarkable - to be Jesus' best friend.

          3) What would it be like if such a thing were done today...


             What would happen if in 1998 someone were identified

                from all of Christendom as Jesus' best friend?

             Barbara Walters would do the interview.

                Time and Newsweek would have them on the cover.

             What do you think it would do to that person's life?

             Do you think that person would write a book or cut a CD

                or go on the road on a Best-Friend-of-Jesus seminar?

             Wouldn't it have the high potential of ruining that

                person's entire life?

             It also could have done more - he could have ruined

                Jesus's life.

             Jesus needed friends he could trust.

                                                                    #3091


IV. Jesus revealed God's secrets to his friends.

      A. Parables of Kingdom of God.

          1) He used easy terms when he preached, unlike the rabbis.

          2) Sign of his friendship is he revealed everything to them.

                                                          John 15:15


      B. Prophecies about the future.

          1) Olivet Discourse on future of world.         (Matthew 24)

          2) He even let them know their own destinies.

              a) Peter heard that he would be sifted like wheat.

              b) Then he heard that he would betray Jesus.

              c) Finally, Peter heard how he would die.

                  1> Each time, Jesus was trying to strengthen him

                        and prepare him.


  V. Jesus knew what made his friends tick.

      A. Gave nicknames like "Sons of Thunder."                 Mark 3:17

          1) He enjoyed them.

          2) They tried to impress him, but he knew them right down to

                their very thoughts.

          3) He treated them as equals, as disciples, as friends.


      B. They could ask him any question they wanted.

          1) His answers could be soft - with an edge.       Mark 9:33-37

          2) Little child as an example of greatness in God's eyes.


      C. He took initiative with people.

          1) He healed people even if they didn't ask him to.

          2) As soon as he met them, he called them "friend."   Luke 5:20


VI. Jesus never gave up on them.

      A. Even when they abandoned him at the cross.

          1) John abandoned Jesus with the rest, but at the cross Jesus

                entrusted his mother Mary to him.         John 19:25-27

          2) He had compassion in his voice when he spoke to them.

          3) He reached out to them in their greatest failure.


             Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league

                baseball.

             While breaking baseball's "color barrier," he faced

                jeering crowds in every stadium.

             While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he

                committed an error.

             His fans began to ridicule him.

             He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered.


             Then shortstop "Pee Wee" Reese came over and stood next

                to him.

             He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd.

                The fans grew quiet.

             Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved

                 his career.

                                                                    #1751


      B. "Greater love has no one than this..."                John 15:13

             ... that he lay down his life for his friends.

          1) Jesus gave his friends the greatest gift of all,

                salvation.

          2) He had qualms but never wavered from God's will.


      C. He wants to be our friend forever.

          1) Revelation gives image of Jesus standing at door, knocking.

          2) He wants us to be friends with each other.

              a) 65% of new people come to church because of friends.

              b) New members should have 7 friends in six months.


=======================================================================

SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


This series was inspired by Issue 56 of Discipleship Journal, March 1990,

    and this sermon is modelled on the article "The Friend," by

    Mark R. Littleton, page 20.


#1575, "Dropping Your Guard," by Charles R. Swindoll, page 56.


#1751, "To Illustrate: Brotherhood," by Larry Wise, Leadership Magazine,

        Spring 1990, page 48.


#3091, "The Art Of Positive And Negative Preaching," by Craig Brian Larson,

        Leadership Magazine, Winter 1995, page 79.


These and 4,300 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,

  absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html

=======================================================================


OTHER RELEVANT ILLUSTRATIONS:



CATEGORY: Relationships, Isolation, Loneliness, Friendship

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TEXT: Ps 68:6, 2 Pet 2:13-15, Jude 16, Mark 1:45, Ps 25:16, Ps 31:11,

Ps 38:11-12, Ps 41:9, Ps 55:12-14, Ps 88:8,18, Prov 19:6

Number: 1589           Hard copy:

SOURCE: Dropping Your Guard

TITLE:

AUTHOR: Charles Swindoll

PAGE: 23          DATE:                 Typist: ds        ENTERED: 9/11/91

DATE_USED:

ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________

: The Europeans who came here to settle North America found it vast and

unexplored.  "Self-reliant" was the watchword, and the scout, the mountain man

or the pioneer, with his axe and rifle over his shoulder, became the national

hero.


In those early days the government gave away quarter sections of land to

anyone who would homestead, in order to encourage settlement.  People flocked

west from crowded cities and villages to have their own land at last.  Before

they could farm the land they had chosen, their first job was to build a sod

hut to live in, and we know that most families built them right smack-dab in

the middle of their quarter section.  The reason was obvious.  People who had

never owned land before had a new sense of pride and ownership.  They wanted

to feel that everything they saw belonged to them.


But that custom changed very quickly.  This chosen isolation did strange

things to people.  Occasionally, photographers went out to record life on the

frontier and returned with photographs of weird men, wild-eyed women, and

haunted-looking children.  Before long most of these families learned to move

their houses to one corner of their property in order to live in proximity

with three other families who also lived on the corners of their property.

Four families living together, sharing life and death, joy and sorrow,

abundance and want, had a good chance of making it.

                                                                      #1589

*

CATEGORY: Spiritual Relationships, Male Bonding, Men, Friendship, Mentor,

Isolation, Loneliness, Accountability

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TEXT: 1 Sam 20:14-17, 2 Sam 1:26, Prov 12:26, Prov 17:17, Prov 18:24,

Prov 22:11, Prov 27:6, Prov 27:9-10, Eccl 4:9-12, Jer 9:4-5, Matt 12:36,

John 15:15, Acts 15:25, 2 Cor 8:23, 2 Cor 12:19, Phlm 1:17, 1 Jn 4:11,

3 Jn 1:5, Jude 1:20

Number: 3618           Hard copy:

SOURCE: Online Christianity Today  (America Online)

TITLE: Speaker Urges Men To Form Accountability Groups

AUTHOR: Keith Hinson

PAGE:             DATE: 9/6/95          Typist:           ENTERED: 3/26/96

DATE_USED:

ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________

: All Christian men, including singles, should forge close relationships with

other men to be spiritually vital, a speaker told conferees at the Single

Adult Labor Day Getaway, Sept. 1-4, at Ridgecrest (N.C.) Baptist Conference

Center.


David Atchison, a member of Grace Community Church, Nashville, Tenn., said,

"God's desire for us -- his design -- is that we would experience close,

meaningful relationships with other guys."


Yet Christian men in America today are often spiritually isolated from other

men, said Atchison, director of Turning Point, a discipleship ministry in

Nashville.


"You may have a lot (of men) ... you can call your friends, but ... when it

comes to sharing the personal things in our lives -- the things that are most

private -- we are very alone," said Atchison, who also is recording secretary

for the Southern Baptist Convention.


Men have a tendency toward self-isolation, Atchison said, which is

spiritually dangerous.  "Men, that's exactly what the enemy attempts to do to

you and me.  He wants us to get self-sufficient. ... We get alone, and we

basically have a life that's unchecked, and that's when we are most

vulnerable to the enemy," Atchison said.


Accountability, on the other hand, is a good thing, he said.  "Accountability

is the willingness to give an honest account of your life to another or

others," he said.


Atchison urged the men to form accountability groups or one-on-one

accountable relationships, such as between Paul and Timothy in Scripture.

When forming a group, Atchison said, be careful how many men are in the

group.  "If the number is too small, it's kind of hard to stimulate the group

in discussion and openness," Atchison cautioned.  "If you get it too big, you

don't have time for everybody to share what's on their hearts.  Your meetings

will last five hours, with folks trying to have a chance for everybody to

talk."


The ideal number in an accountability group would probably be four, Atchison

said.  He noted the Old Testament example of Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach and

Abednego and the New Testament example of Jesus, Peter, James and John.


Atchison made several suggestions for men who want to establish accountable

relationships:


-- Seek out men who want to grow spiritually.  Watch for "something in their lives

     that says they're longing for God. ... The key to it is men who are willing and

     hungry," Atchison said.

-- Seek out compatible men.  "You've got to go find men that you can connect with.

     ... You feel safe with these guys.  You want to build a relationship. God draws

     you to that person," Atchison said.

-- Avoid long-range plans at first and try a trial period.  When a group starts with

     a long-term commitment, "then it's real awkward to get out of it," Atchison

     said. On the other hand, setting a trial period of three or four weeks may allow

     a group to see if the "chemistry" is there, he said, adding it may become

     obvious "this thing isn't clicking.  There's nothing wrong with you or any of

     the other guys. ... It's just not working."

-- Meet for lunch and share thoughts and feelings.  "Get a little bit vulnerable with

     them, and tell them, 'Hey, I'm looking to try to build some kind of real

     accountable relationships in my life,'" Atchison said.  "Just drop the hook out

     there, and see if there's any response."

-- Avoid legalism. "Accountability is not a system of legalistic harassment of one

     another," he said.  "Accountability is not forcing you to do something you don't

     want to do.  Accountability is when others help you accomplish and become what

     you want to be most."


When an accountability group is established, Atchison suggested the members

spend at least a third of group time in prayer.  He advises learning to pray

conversationally "in sentences and paragraphs -- no long speeches. ... You

pray one subject at a time."


If one man is struggling in prayer and "pours his heart out, ...  then

another brother agrees with that and adds a sentence or two and prays, and

then another guy does, all of a sudden you have a conversation," Atchison

said.


The ancient redwood trees of northern California have a similarity to men's

accountability groups, Atchison said.  The trees' key to survival is not a

deep root system but the fact that their roots have grown together, he said.

"Find some other guys that you can intertwine the roots and foundation of

your life and relationship with Christ," Atchison said.


"Men, these relationships are what we all want, but we're afraid to go for

them.  A word for you today:  Take a few men in your life, and go deep with

them," he said.


====================

The conference was sponsored by the Baptist Sunday School Board's

discipleship and family development division.  Similar conferences were held

at Glorieta (N.M.) Conference Center; San Antonio, Texas; Destin, Fla.; and

Branson, Mo.

Copyright (c) 1995 Baptist Press

RNbp5906mrjB5906g698w

                                                         #3618

=======================================================================


Verses that associate Jesus with friendship:


MAT 11:19  The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is

a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." 'But

wisdom is proved right by her actions."

MAT 26:50  Jesus replied, "Friend, do what you came for." Then the men

stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.

LUK 5:20  When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are

forgiven."

LUK 16:9  I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves,

so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

LUK 21:16  You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and

friends, and they will put some of you to death.

JOH 3:29  The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the

bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears

the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.

JOH 11:11  After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend

Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."

JOH 15:13  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life

for his friends.

JOH 15:14  You are my friends if you do what I command.

JOH 15:15  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know

his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for

everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

JOH 21:5  He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" "No,"

they answered.



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