Rev. David Holwick ZA Family Concerns #9
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
August 31, 2008
Hosea 2:2-7,13-20
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I. Not every family is blissful and blessed.
A. Many are torn by disasters.
1) I have already preached on external disasters of
circumstances, like unemployment and death.
2) This sermon focuses on those disasters that have a human
cause - someone is at fault.
a) They can be the worst disasters of all.
b) They make us question the genuineness of our faith -
even the faithfulness of our God.
B. Disasters can change us.
1) While some lose their faith, others end up strengthened.
a) The soul-searching can make us aware of new things.
b) Humility and compassion become more important to us.
2) Christians are not always "onward and upward."
a) We need to deal with the harsh realities of life.
b) We need to deal with the darkness of our own souls.
II. Human hearts can be hard.
A. Jesus had a fairly low view of human nature.
1) This comes out clearly in the divorce debate. Matt 19:3
2) Jews accepted divorce, to varying degrees.
a) Moses made allowances for it in the Torah.
b) Some Jews were strict about it; others said you
could drive a truck through it.
B. Jesus said all those allowances were concessions to
the hardness of the human heart. Matt 19:8
1) In a perfect world there would be no divorce.
2) Our world is not at all perfect.
a) Barna survey - 35% of Christians get divorced.
III. Things that always harden your heart.
A. Addictions.
1) Alcohol.
a) Booze is probably one of the biggest killers of
families and relationships.
b) Drinkers think they get sociable. Usually they
just get mean.
c) When it hooks you, you withdraw from normal life.
d) You marry the bottle instead of your spouse.
2) Drugs.
a) Methamphetamine has destroyed many families.
1> One woman had her daughter die of an overdose,
then her husband got a long prison term
for selling it.
2> She said the day meth entered their home, her
family died.
b) Biggest problem for Christians?
1> Probably not meth or heroin or even cocaine.
2> Prescription drugs is what trips up regular
families. People get pain killers for a
legitimate reason, and then get hooked.
c) Our culture is big on pharmaceuticals.
1> People take pills to wake up, to work efficiently,
then to go to sleep.
2> There are certainly valid reasons to take medicine,
but if they control you rather than you
controlling them, get off.
3) Gambling.
a) A family in this church was destroyed by gambling.
1> The father gambled mostly on sports.
2> He lost everything.
3> Then he stole from his wife.
4> Then they divorced.
5> Then he died.
b) Gambling is everywhere these days.
1> Vegas, Atlantic City, your local 7-11.
2> The internet has hooked lots of young people.
c) Want to cure your urge to gamble?
1> Play Microsoft solitaire with Vegas rules.
2> Do it for eight hours straight.
3> If you are in positive territory at the end
of 8 hours, go ahead and clean up at Vegas.
B. Abuse.
1) The Old Testament prophet Malachi says that God hates
it when a man wears violence like a shirt.
He says this breaks the faith of the marriage covenant.
Mal 2:16
2) Violence is a secret sin in many Christian families.
a) Some are even pastors.
b) Even where there is no outright physical abuse, there
can be psychological trauma.
1> A constantly critical spirit breaks the family down.
2> How much screaming and yelling goes on in
your home?
3> How much silent, but angry, non-communication?
C. Unfaithfulness.
1) If it has happened to you, it is like getting kicked in
the gut.
a) Even if you are the one being unfaithful, and get
away with it, it will eat at your soul.
2) Some couples can work their way through adultery, but many
cannot.
a) They may stay together, but the love turns to dust.
D. Divorce.
1) For a family, this can be the end result of everything else.
2) It announces to the world that you have failed.
a) The fact that millions of others have gone through it
as well does not make it any easier to take.
b) Most people see their divorce as an admission of their
failure as humans.
1> Perhaps the marriage failed because of the other
person.
2> But you had the bad taste to marry them to begin
with.
3) Divorce causes lingering pain, especially for Christians.
IV. Jesus makes it worse.
A. Christians feel especially guilty about personal failure.
1) Since we are saved by Jesus, the master of the universe,
shouldn't we be able to overcome anything?
2) Sometimes other Christians, and our reading of the Bible,
reinforces this.
B. The Bible sets a high standard.
1) Many would say it is impossibly high.
a) Jesus says no divorce allowed (except for adultery).
1> Give the shirt off your back.
2> Never expect repayment for any debt.
3> And how many times should we turn the other cheek?
b) Paul says stay in your situation, even if it is lousy.
1> The only option he allows is abandonment by a
non-believing spouse.
2) The Old Testament is a little more "realistic."
a) Their families were often highly dysfunctional.
1> Judah, the founder of Jesus' tribe, slept with
prostitutes, including his own daughter-in-law. Gen 38
2> Women were often dissatisfied.
A> Sara and Hagar. Gen 16:5
B> Hannah and Peninnah. 1 Sam 1
b) The ultimate failed family was Hosea's.
1> His wife was unfaithful and the children weren't his.
A> God used him as an object lesson to Israel.
B> Both as examples of sin, and examples of God's
forgiving grace.
2> We sinners can learn a lot from Hosea.
V. No one is perfect.
A. We often say this nonchalantly.
1) The reality is that we are broken by sin, even if we don't
realize it.
B. The harsh reality of our imperfection can sharpen our faith.
A professor at Harvard once said to Rebecca Pippert, "I admire
the fact that you are devout, but in the end it doesn't make
any difference whether you believe in God or not.
Life is essentially the same for everyone.
Don't Christians get cancer, get divorced, long for their
children to do well?
Don't Christians fail, morally?"
She said yes.
"You're proving my point," he responded.
"God DOESN'T make a difference."
She told him that one of the difficulties is that Christians
have tried to pin the difference in the wrong place.
Sometimes we try to make it seem as if we are no longer human
when we follow Jesus.
What is the difference that God makes?
It begins to show, she told him, in HOW WE HANDLE problems and
personal failings - not in freedom from them.
She has seen that there is nothing we do that does not contain
some corruption, that does not have some self-serving motive.
God shows us the problem of human nature and He gives us a
diagnosis for the condition: SIN.
"If I was that hard on myself," he interrupted, "I'd be
depressed! But you seem so joyful."
So then she told him the rest of the story:
"That's because I've also been given a solution.
It's the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy
Spirit to help me overcome."
"Has the cure worked?" the professor asked.
"I'm not a finished product, if that's what you mean.
But I'm learning to live in recovery from sin and I'm growing
in amazing grace, and that would make anyone joyful!"
#1195
VI. Jesus can heal.
A. No family is so broken it cannot be healed.
The most dramatic example I have heard of this comes from
Chuck Colson.
Mark and Michelle were the ideal Christian couple -- or so it
seemed to their church.
On the outside, Mark, who was a pastor, and Michelle, seemed
to have it all together.
But on the inside, they were in total rebellion.
They began drinking heavily and became addicted to prescription
drugs.
They even started abusing one another -- all the while passing
themselves off as good Christians.
In 1994, Michelle divorced Mark, and he landed in jail -- a
turn of events that drove him to finally turn his eyes back
to God.
Dropping to his knees in his cell, Mark began to pray.
"God, I have really messed up my life," he said.
"You gave me so many gifts, and I threw them all away."
Mark then offered God a solemn promise.
"If you can do anything with my life -- anything -- I'll give
you everything."
Mark began serving a three-year prison sentence.
Meanwhile, Michelle continued abusing drugs and alcohol.
She lost custody of their kids, and ended up in prison herself.
But God had not abandoned Mark and Michelle.
After stripping them of everything, he began rebuilding their
lives.
Michelle rededicated her life to Christ and got involved with
Chuck Colson's Prison Fellowship ministry.
She attended parenting seminars and Bible studies.
She got involved in the Angel Tree ministry, which sends gifts
to the kids of prisoners.
She began sending gifts and letters to her own kids.
God used those letters to her children to renew her son's
faith in God.
They also brought her daughter to the point of accepting Christ
as her Savior.
Meanwhile, across the state in a men's prison, Mark also
worried his kids.
"I had betrayed, abused, and neglected them," he said.
"I had given up hope that I would ever be able to demonstrate
healthy love to my children.
But I prayed for them every day."
Mark faithfully sent his kids gifts and letters -- and God
again worked the impossible.
When Mark was released, his oldest son was there to pick him up.
But God was not finished yet.
Mark and Michelle began to write to one another.
In time, this relationship was healed as well.
In 2000, Mark and Michelle were reunited in marriage.
#19849
1) Healing and reconciliation are always God's ideal.
2) He even practices what he preaches.
a) The book of Hosea is really about God's relationship
with Israel. (Hosea's real family mirrors this)
b) She has turned to idolatry, and God will divorce her
and punish her.
c) But he does not give up on her.
In Hosea 2:14-16 God says:
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead
her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards, and will
make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
"In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my
husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.'"
1> Right after God talks about punishing her, he
starts talking about wooing his ex-wife.
2> They "re-marry" and live happily ever after.
B. If your family can't be put back together, God can heal you.
1) Some family failures cannot be put back together, no
matter how much you want it.
2) But your life can go on, and you can be blessed.
a) Many find another spouse and are happy.
b) Others find joy in their family or close Christian
friends.
c) No failure is final. God can see you through.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 1195 "When You Don't Have It All Together," by Rebecca Manley Pippert,
Discipleship Journal, #57, May-June 1990, p. 17.
#19849 "I'll Give You Everything: A Story of Healing," by Charles Colson,
BreakPoint Commentary, October 1, 2001.
These and 30,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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