Rev. David Holwick W
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
July 19, 2015
Colossians 4:3-6
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I. You have to have some couth.
A. Manners in the past.
Erasmus of Rotterdam was one of the leading scholars of
the Renaissance.
He was a Christian and philosopher and educator.
He also wrote a book on manners, beating Emily Post by
about 400 years.
Here are some samples from his best seller, "On Civility
in Children":
"To lick greasy fingers or to wipe them on your coat is
impolite.
It is better to use the table cloth..."
"You should not offer your handkerchief to anyone unless
it has been freshly washed.
Nor is it seemly, after wiping your nose, to spread out
your handkerchief and peer into it as if pearls and
rubies had fallen out of your head."
"If you cannot swallow a piece of food, turn around
discreetly and throw it somewhere."
#17496
B. Manners have been slipping in America.
1) A notorious example happened in 2009 when President Obama
was addressing a joint session of Congress.
The president was promoting his health bill and said
illegal would not be covered.
Republican Representative Joe Wilson shouted out, "You lie!"
a) It turns out the President was right.
b) But even if you think Joe Wilson had a valid point,
his outburst was not in the proper place or time.
c) Joe got a lot of criticism, even from people overseas.
1> He also got a big increase in contributions.
2> Joe did apologize to the President, saying,
"My comments were inappropriate and regrettable.
I extend sincere apologies to the President for
this lack of civility." [1]
2) As our manners slip, media multiplies.
a) We now have Twitter, Facebook and 24/7 cable news.
b) Public debates quickly go into overdrive.
c) The outcome has sometimes been tragic, as when a
young white man pulled out a gun at a black church
in Charleston during a Bible study to make an
bizarre political point.
C. How are your manners?
1) Civility is the essence of building a cooperative and
caring culture.
a) It doesn't mean everyone agrees on everything, but
that we have a gentle way of handling discussions.
b) It allows civilization to exist, and even flourish.
2) It is also a virtue that Christians should embrace.
a) Civility is possible, and beneficial.
b) Charles Colson was once known as President Nixon's
"Hatchet Man." #64630
1> He was an expert at political dirty tricks and
brutal to anyone who opposed his boss.
2> It was only after becoming a Christian - and going
to prison - that he gained a reputation as a
gentle speaker and advocate.
3> This allowed him to have an impact on prison
legislation, and to be heard on other topics.
3) If you are not very civil, you should become that way.
a) It will make you more effective for Jesus.
b) And even if it doesn't, it is what he would want you
to be.
II. Christians have gained a reputation for incivility.
A. So many hot-button topics get us going.
1) A recent Barna survey found that many young people think
of evangelicals primarily as "judgmental" types.
2) We are hostile toward other religions and mean-spirited
in general. Sermon #64875
B. Even Bible heroes sometimes lose their cool.
1) The Apostle Paul was once hauled before the Sanhedrin,
which was like a Jewish Congress.
He made a statement that the high priest took offense at,
and the priest ordered Paul slapped.
Paul responded, "God will slap you, you white-washed
pig pen!" (LB; literally, whitewashed wall) Acts 23:3
They challenged him on that, and he backtracked, somewhat.
2) Jesus is famous for being silent during his trial.
a) He did not want to contribute to the farce.
b) Jesus could be disarming with his opponents, making them
look bad by gently turning their own words on them.
c) But sometimes even Jesus gets a little harsh.
1> He called his opponents snakes and whitewashed
tombs.
2> He also made a point by overturning tables in the
temple.
3> Perhaps there are times when incivility is called
for - but I don't think it is most of the time.
III. Early Christians lived in a hostile environment.
A. They had beliefs and practices that the world despised.
1) Christians believed in a strict sexual ethic.
2) They didn't worship the emperor, or do regular sacrifices.
3) They believed in a Judgment Day and that believing in Jesus
was the only way to get to heaven.
4) There weren't many of them - they were a drop in the bucket.
B. The Christian response was to present themselves positively.
1) They were to love each other, and be good to outsiders.
a) Paul's advice in Romans 12:17-18 -
"Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of
everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live
at peace with everyone."
b) At the end of his ministry he writes in Titus 3:1-2 -
"Remind the people to be subject to rulers and
authorities (are you listening, Joe Wilson?), to
be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,
to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate,
and to show true humility toward all men."
2) In Colossians he goes into a little more detail.
a) Paul wants an open door for the gospel.
1> He was in prison at the time so that must have had
a negative impact on his credibility.
b) Paul says he wants to proclaim the gospel clearly.
1> We should not use manipulation to convince people.
2> Some Christians are nice to people they are
witnessing to, then give them the cold shoulder.
3> Paul wants to get the message across, but to do
it with integrity.
C. Open doors are not just God's doing, but ours as well.
1) We have to be wise in how we relate to outsiders. Col 4:5
2) Our conversations should be full of grace, not bombast.
a) Grace means it is positive and affirming of the other
person.
b) Seasoned with salt can be taken several ways.
1> It can mean our conversation should be wholesome,
since salt was used to preserve food.
2> Or it can mean we should be savory - don't be
insipid when you talk to people. Be interesting!
c) We should be able to relate in a positive way to
everyone we meet.
IV. Misconceptions some have about Christian civility.
A. It doesn't mean you throw your convictions out the window.
1) Theologian Martin Marty observed that one of the problems
of contemporary life is that the people who are good at
being civil often lack strong convictions.
At the same time, people who have strong convictions often
lack civility.
2) You can have both at the same time.
3) It is how you express your convictions that matter.
a) Do you stomp on other people's viewpoints, or listen
to them respectfully?
b) Tolerating the views of others doesn't mean we agree.
1> We can grasp the harmful consequences that accompany
the promotions of certain lifestyles.
2> But when we warn them about this, we have to do it
in a way that shows we care about them as people.
B. Civility doesn't require you to like everyone.
1) Our disagreements are real and may not be resolved.
a) Civility is not the absence of conflict.
b) It is dealing with conflict in a responsible manner.
2) We may not end up holding their hand and singing "Kum Ba Ya."
3) But we should love them anyway and treat them with respect.
C. Civility is not a plastic smile.
1) Some people are respectful as long as others respect them.
2) A real Christian should be gentle and positive even in
the face of bitter attacks, even if we lose the battle.
3) If there is rancor, it should not come from us.
V. How civil are you?
A. Our recent Bylaws meeting.
1) The preparatory meetings generated some heated discussions.
a) I wasn't sure what to expect for this final meeting.
b) We barely had a quorum - after all, it's mid-July.
2) One person, who isn't even a member yet, paid close
attention to how we handled it.
She wrote me in an email:
"I compliment the group on how well the meeting was conducted,
facilitated, guided.
I'm used to attending local council meetings which are
aggressive and rude.
I normally return home with indigestion and disappointment.
It's nice to see that people can disagree without slinging
mud and vicious words, to no positive end."
B. People are watching you.
1) Pay attention to your behavior.
2) Pay attention to your words.
3) Pay attention to your attitude.
4) You are a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ.
C. Consider a famous letter.
A few years ago Chuck Colson and Timothy George wrote about
a letter composed by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
If anyone had a right to unleash an uncivil, scathing attack
on his opponents, it was Dr. King.
The recent movie "Selma" reminds us of the turmoil and violence
of that period.
After a particular protest in Alabama, King was put in the
Birmingham jail.
Several local preachers criticized him for going outside the
law.
King wrote a letter to them to defend his strategy.
Put yourself in his place.
Wouldn't you be ticked off at those telling you to be quiet?
Instead, King laid out his position in a civil and
well-reasoned manner.
He quoted the words of Jesus, and appealed to the example of
Paul, as well as Martin Luther and John Bunyan.
He did not question his opponents' motives.
Instead, he called them "men of genuine good will" whose
"criticisms are sincerely set forth."
He wrote, "I want to try to answer your statement, in what
I hope will be patient and reasonable terms."
And that is what he did.
He cataloged the injustices faced by African Americans, but
he never engaged in name-calling or personal attacks.
Without distortion, he patiently and fairly acknowledged his
opponents' positions - and then dismantled them.
King had reason, justice, facts, and conviction on his side
- as well as the gospel.
Our country is grappling with many high-stakes, emotionally
charged issues.
We should defend our positions vigorously and with conviction
- but with civility.
#64878
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
[1] The information on Joe Wilson came from <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Wilson_(U.S._politician)>.
Sermon #64875 “Christian Civility In A Really Rude World,” Rev. Scott
Carson, Grace Church in Burlington, Wisconsin;
<http://www.gracechurchwi.org/new-sermonseries/Kingdom Principles for a Political World/Christian Civility in a Really Rude World.html>.
#17496 “Early Table Manners,” found in Sebastian's Humor List, May 24, 2004;
Don Johnson Illustration Collection.
#64630 “Random Acts of Civility: More Than Just Polite Talk,”
John Stonestreet, BreakPoint Commentary, November 18, 2014.
#64878 “Martin Luther King Jr. Modeled Christian Civility,” Chuck Colson &
Timothy George, June 1, 2011; <http://www.preachingtoday.com>.
Original source is their article Christianity Today (June 2011)
titled “Civility Under Fire.”
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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