Rev. David Holwick ZH Family Improvement #5
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
October 17, 2004
2 Samuel 11:1-5
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I. Shalt or shalt not?
A. The Wicked Bible.
The quality and methods of printing in the 17th century
were rather primitive in comparison to today.
This led to many printing errors in these early books.
In 1631, King Charles I ordered 1,000 Bibles from an
English printer named Robert Barker.
Only after the Bibles were delivered did anyone notice a
serious mistake.
In one of the Ten Commandments [Exodus 20:14], a very small
word was forgotten by the printers.
The word "not".
This changed the 7th commandment to read,
"Thou shalt commit adultery"!
King Charles was not amused by the "Wicked Bible," as the
infamous printing mistake was called.
He ordered the Bibles recalled and destroyed, took away
Barker's license to print Bibles and fined him 300
pounds [a lifetime's wages in those days].
Barker was put out of business.
Only 11 are left today. #27909
Why is this Bible so famous?
Perhaps we would like to think Barker got it right...
B. Adultery is no small matter.
1) Percentage of men who will have an extramarital affair
in their lifetime: 21.2.
2) Percentage of women who will have an extramarital
affair in their lifetime: 11.3.
3) But statistics on adultery are all over the map.
These figures are conservative - some put them 3x higher.
If the media is any indication, it will only become more
prevalent:
In daytime soap operas, the percentage of sexual references
to partners who are not married or not married to
each other is 94%!
C. It is an important issue to God.
Hebrews 13:4 -
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept
pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral."
II. Why adultery is a problem.
A. It feeds on the weakness of our flesh.
1) God created us to have desires. Sex is a good thing.
a) He also commands us to control our desires.
b) Modern society frowns upon this - repression is bad.
2) The Bible says self-control is possible, and necessary.
a) But temptations will always be out there.
B. It destroys trust.
1) Family therapist Jerry Weinstein is the director of the
Divorce Resource and Mediation Center in Newton, Mass.
He says, "I've never seen anybody who's said, 'Ten years
ago there was infidelity and we worked through it;
our marriage is better now,'"
What he hears instead from couples who do stay together
is, 'Somehow we managed to survive, but I've never
trusted him/her again.'"
2) Billionaire Ross Perot had a policy of firing executives
who cheated on their wives.
Many reporters thought this was way too harsh.
Perot responded, "If a man's own wife can't trust him, why
should I?" #26631
3) Proverbs 22:14 - "The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit;
he who is under the LORD'S wrath will fall into it."
C. It destroys marriages.
A few years ago a researcher named Linda Wolfe wrote a book
on infidelity in marriage.
She interviewed 66 women and found that 21 of them were
having affairs to preserve their marriage.
Five years later the author checked up on them to see if it
worked.
Only 3 out of 21 were still married- fully 81% were divorced.
#2453
III. Causes of adultery. [1]
A. Uncertain standards.
1) The ideal of keeping marriage vows is still held by most.
a) However, we accept a lot of exceptions and excuses.
b) There is little censure for breaking the vows.
2) "Honesty" is more important than commitment.
a) Feelings trump everything else.
B. Unrestrained sexuality.
1) Drastic changes in our society over last few decades.
a) President Clinton...
b) Gov. James McGreevey's resignation.
He said he was resigning because he had broken his
marriage vows.
The fact that his gay lover was trying to extort
tens of millions from him was a non-issue, of
course.
c) These dramatic examples only highlight the wholesale
lifestyle changes in our society.
2) Where are the limits today?
a) Sex with someone under 15 - still a no-no.
b) Higher standards are only in the Bible.
C. Unfulfilled desires.
1) Many are unhappy and dissatisfied.
2) Rather than work it out, many start something on the side.
3) "Mid-life crisis" is a common excuse.
a) Often their desires ARE fulfilled, but they want more.
b) King David had two wives. He had no excuse.
D. Undisciplined lifestyles.
1) Soap operas, movies, magazines, internet.
a) What premium TV channels do you subscribe to?
b) What internet sites do you visit when no one is looking?
c) Jesus said adultery begins with lust.
d) He also said, "If your eye offends you, pluck it out."
2) A lack of discipline, unfulfilled desires, and unrestrained
sexuality will lead inevitably into adultery - in
thought if not in deed.
3) Hosea: If you sow the wind, you'll reap the whirlwind.
IV. How to prevent adultery.
A. Commit to God's standard of morality.
1) Instruct yourself in what the Bible teaches.
2) Uphold it in your own life and expect it of other believers.
3) Commit to it now, not later.
There is a direct correlation between age at loss of
virginity and having an affair later in life.
In women who have their first sexual relationship at age
21, or later, cheating occurs with only 16%.
But for those who have their first sexual relationship at
a younger age, up to 50% cheat on a future mate.
#28465
B. Care for your marriage.
1) Cherish your spouse.
2) Try to meet each other's needs: emotional, physical,
spiritual.
C. Control your mind.
1) Sin begins in our minds.
2) Don't fantasize about others.
D. Constrict your media intake.
1) I will set before my eyes no vile thing. Psalm 101:3
2) It tripped up King David, and it can trip up you.
E. Cautious about temptations.
1) 1 Cor 10:12 - "So, if you think you are standing firm,
be careful that you don't fall!"
2) 1 Cor 15:33 - "Bad company corrupts good character."
F. Clean in your relationships with the opposite sex.
1) Ephesians 5:3 - "But among you there must not be even a
hint of sexual immorality."
2) Double-check your motivations and actions with others.
G. Consider the consequences.
1) Proverbs 6:32 - "But a man who commits adultery lacks
judgment; whoever does so destroys himself."
2) You don't have to look far to find the damage of adultery.
3) David is a classic example.
a) God was gracious and David did not bear the penalty he
was due - death.
b) He did, however, suffer some nasty consequences.
1> And so did the rest of his family.
2> Several of his sons tried to take his throne and
his life.
3> One daughter was raped by a son.
4> The sins of the fathers can visit the children...
V. Start fresh from this day on.
A. Are you playing with fire right now?
1) Repent before it is too late.
B. Past failures can be forgiven.
1) After his adultery, David pleaded for God's forgiveness in
Psalm 51.
2) No sin is unforgivable. Just don't take it for granted.
C. You don't have to repeat your past mistakes.
1) Sin is not inevitable.
a) In any year, 98% are faithful to their spouse,
according to a study by the University of Chicago.
b) You CAN be faithful.
2) Learn from the past.
3) Strengthen your weaknesses.
a) High school rallies for purity that stress "secondary
virginity."
b) Even if you have failed in the past, you can be pure
again.
D. Your marriage can be better and better.
1) A good marriage parallels the way God loves us.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
Key ideas in this sermon were borrowed from Rev. Paul Lauchle of
Colonial Park United Methodist Church in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: "How
To Affair-Proof Your Marriage," February 15, 2004. I suspect a prior
source was Rev. Rick Warren.
[1] Points were taken from Rev. Stuart Briscoe's "Ten Commandments."
# 2453 "A Sure-fire Way To Get Divorced," source unknown - quoted from a
sermon preached by me on February 24, 1985.
#26631 "Trust Is The Cornerstone," from Dynamic Preaching newsletter,
May 10, 2004
#27909 "The Adultery Bible," by Rev. Chris Vogel with other data from
http://www.catholicapologetics.net/wicked_bible.htm
#28465 "Cheat Now, Cheat Later," http://www.higherpraise.com/illustrations
These and 25,000 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,
absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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