Rev. David Holwick ZJ
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
October 23, 2016
Proverbs 11:16
1 Timothy 5:2
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
I. Women don't get much respect.
A. Missionary letter, Peru to Ledgewood, October 10, 1955.
1) Dorothy Reed's letter to Mr. Kelsall:
...along with the good news comes the not so good.
One of our believers, a woman, .. got drunk.
We felt very badly about it because she was drinking and
with a group of men.
This morning Don Juan, her husband, told me that he gave
her a beating and told her that was no way for a
Christian to behave herself.
He is a believer too.
He said he wanted her to remember, so that is why he beat
her.
It sounds like very harsh treatment, but that is the custom
here. ...
She has asked him to forgive her and he has, and I told him
that she must ask the Lord's forgiveness too.
[1]
(There is no indication the husband was told to ask the
Lord's forgiveness.)
2) Aretha Franklin would not be impressed.
a) As she would say, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what that
means to me."
B. We may be a little better, but not too much.
1) Furor over Donald Trump and his crude comments on video.
a) He acknowledged the video, saying it wasn't his
"true self."
b) Then many more accusers came forward, whom he
repudiated and called liars.
2) I cannot prove it one way or the other.
a) But his public record, which is abundant, does not make
him look good in this area.
b) And in this, he is not alone.
C. How does God want women to be treated?
1) And how are you treating women?
II. Women are treated poorly around the world.
A. There is widespread disrespect, abuse and molestation.
1) One member of our church wrote me, "It is my belief that
every woman has been in a situation where she was not
respected by a man. Even by so called Christian men."
2) 1 in 3 women will experience physical abuse by an intimate
partner within their lifetime in the United States.
3) On a typical day, 20,000 phone calls are placed to
domestic violence hotlines.
4) 1 in 5 women have been raped. For men, it is 1 in 71. [2]
5) The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and
Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488.
The number of American women who were murdered by current
or ex male partners during that time was 11,766.
That's nearly double the amount of casualties lost during
war. [3]
B. Powerful men have been accused.
1) At Fox News, Bill O'Reilly, their star commentator, and
Roger Ailes, the news chief and one of the most powerful
men in American media, have been accused of harassment.
a) They made strong denials but the evidence kept piling
up. To the shock of many, Roger Ailes was fired.
b) Women at Fox News say it was run like a boys club and
was rife with abusive men.
2) Comedian David Letterman had multiple affairs with
employees and even with a college intern at his show.
3) And, of course, there is Bill Clinton.
a) He also denied every charge against him - until the
evidence was revealed.
b) Some of it was probably consenting, but as a married
man all of it was unacceptable.
C. Plenty of un-powerful men have abused women.
1) One member of our church was explicitly hit on by another
member, on a Sunday, in Jackson Hall.
Incredible!
2) Women are also mistreated by being belittled.
A woman in this church told me when she asked for a
raise at her first job, they asked her how much her
husband made.
And I am not talking about the 1940s here.
3) They are often mistreated by those who should be dealing
with them lovingly - fathers, brothers, teachers,
neighbors, boyfriends, husbands.
III. Why are men such jerks?
A. God made them that way.
1) Our biology is a fact of life.
a) We are created with hormones and strong sexual drive.
b) You could also argue he created us with thick,
sin-warped heads.
2) Biology does not have to be determinative.
a) We can rise above urges.
b) We all have impulses to do violence or break laws,
but we can choose not to do those things.
B. Men's nature can be civilized.
1) Mothers play an important role in this.
a) They should teach their sons to respect them and their
sisters.
b) Fathers can also set an example.
For this sermon, I asked numerous women what their
own experiences with abuse and disrespect had been.
I heard some horror stories, but I had a woman
write of her own husband,
"He has taught our sons with word and deed that
there is never a reason or circumstance that
women are to be treated with anything but
respect."
God bless him!
2) This is also one of the critical roles of marriage.
a) A big concern in China is that preference for sons
and selective abortion of women have produced a
severe imbalance between the sexes.
b) Tens of millions of men will not be able to find wives.
c) The government is concerned about the expected
growth of gangs and anti-social behavior.
IV. Is the Bible part of the problem?
A. It contains plenty of horrible examples of sexism.
1) Innocent women are handed over to evil men and meet a
cruel fate.
2) The patriarch Jacob unknowingly impregnates his
daughter-in-law, assumes she has committed adultery,
and condemns her to death.
a) When she fingers him as the culprit, he admits he was
wrong. But he doesn't put HIMSELF to death.
3) In Esther, a woman refuses to parade herself for a drunken
husband. Esther 1:15-20
a) She is replaced for being disrespectful.
b) They wouldn't consider that the king was being oafish.
1> Even today, women are judged by a tougher standard.
4) These are examples from life as it was lived, but are not
necessarily God's ideal.
a) The consequences of their actions shows that God was
not pleased with these men.
b) There are also passages like Proverbs 31 which shows
a strong independent woman who was praised by her
husband, children and community.
B. There are issues in the Bible which are tougher to handle.
1) In some Old Testament laws, women's lives were given a
lower value in certain situations.
2) Women were at a disadvantage in divorce, property ownership,
and legal proceedings.
3) In the New Testament, women were restricted in leadership
and told to be silent in church.
a) This may have been a local situation, but the tone
has bothered women ever since.
b) Yet Paul also says men and women need each other and
were created by God to be interdependent.
1 Corinthians 11:11-12
"In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man,
nor is man independent of woman.
For as woman came from man, so also man is born of
woman. But everything comes from God."
V. How Christians should treat women.
A. Men should treat women with complete decency.
1) Paul's command in 1 Timothy 5:2 --
"Treat...older women as mothers, and younger women as
sisters, with absolute purity."
2) In a sex-obsessed culture, purity is important.
a) Men, watch your attitudes in relationships, at work,
on internet, and especially in church.
b) Focus on women's inner beauty more than the external.
3) Proverbs 31 - honor and praise women of good character.
B. Jesus is the gold standard.
1) He shattered the attitudes of his culture.
a) He spoke to women he didn't know.
b) He forgave them of great sins and defended them
against hostile mobs.
c) He taught them and let them follow him as disciples.
2) Women showed their devotion to him.
a) Forgiven women wept at his feet.
b) Some of those closest to him wept at his cross -- but
were also the first witnesses of the resurrection.
c) Throughout the history of the Christian church, women
have been at the forefront of ministry and devotion.
C. How are you treating women?
1) Christians should set a high standard.
a) Every woman who responded to my email mentioned their
husbands as being respectful of them and other women.
"My husband has never treated me with anything other
than the utmost respect.
I have never seen or heard him speak of any woman
with anything with anything other than respect
as a woman.
If he has anything to say against a woman, it is based
on her actions or words, not on her gender."
b) Men, could your wife or girlfriend write this about you?
2) Women are not off the hook - they can be cruel to other
women.
One of our members wrote me:
"To be honest, I thought of many examples where Christian
women (or at least women who claimed to be Christian)
were the ones treating me or others badly.
Being critical or rude, gossiping, etc.
This doesn't help you for your sermon."
(She was wrong there.)
3) Also for women, are you acting respectfully?
a) Does the way you act, speak and dress show that you
are a person worthy of respect?
1> Our appearance makes a statement about who we are
and what we want in life.
2> A female member wrote me that it is wrong for men
to treat women as objects, but at the same time
there are far too many women who ACT like
objects.
They crave the attention that crude behavior brings.
b) How do you want to be treated?
4) Bring out the best in all people.
a) Protect the vulnerable, the weak, the innocent.
b) Treat all people with esteem and love, like God wants.
One email said,
"There have been times when guys have taken the time to
not speak over me, ask for and consider my opinion,
or even stand up for me when they didn't have to.
Those are the times that stick out to me."
She added that she was blessed to have a husband
who supports her in attending church and its events.
She wrote in conclusion:
"My heart breaks for all the spouses and partners in
our very own church who don't support and respect
their women's most basic right, to worship God
on a Sunday morning."
c) If you truly respect women, encourage them, stand up
for them -- and pray for them.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
1. Letter from Ledgewood Baptist’s history archives, from Dorothy Reed
of the South America Indian Mission Inc, to Mr. Kelsall, dated
October 10, 1955.
2. Statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence,
<link>.
3. “30 Shocking Domestic Violence Statistics That Remind Us It's An
Epidemic,” by Alanna Vagianos, Women's Editor, The Huffington Post,
23 October 2014, updated 13 February 2015; <link>.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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