Rev. David Holwick C The Life of David, #3
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
January 19, 2014
1 Samuel 20:12-17
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I. Everybody needs somebody.
A. An email I received out of the blue last night:
My name is Bob.
I'm 41-years-old and grew up in the Ledgewood/Roxbury area.
Today, I live in New York.
At the age of ten, I joined a body of Christ independently.
At eleven, I made my profession and dove into the waters of
baptism.
Today, at 41, I'm afflicted; in flesh and in emotion.
I'm alone.
I am on Social Security disability.
I'd like to me penciled to the prayer list, if this would be
okey-dokey.
Prayer for a benevolent cure to loneliness.
I know that life does not go on forever.
And this, in itself, is a light at tunnel's end.
But, until then, for the duration my earthly journey, there
has be better; has to be happier.
a) I wrote back that I would not only pray for him, I
would use him as a sermon illustration.
b) God's famous advice in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 is:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good
return for their work;
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help
him up!"
B. Many people today have no one to pick them up.
1) Like Bob, they are lonely. Perhaps you are as well.
2) Friendship can be a wonderful thing, a powerful thing.
C. David had this kind of friendship with Jonathan.
1) One was a shepherd and a warrior; the other was a prince.
2) We can learn a lot from their relationship.
II. Externally they did not have too much in common.
A. Jonathan had a much higher role in society.
1) As Saul's oldest son, he was in line to sit on the throne.
2) David was more of a servant to Saul and it was a very
poisonous relationship.
a) Saul would have rages and try to kill David.
b) Then the next moment, David would be soothing him with
music.
3) As demented as he could be, Saul clearly realized one thing.
a) David's popularity was a dire threat to Jonathan.
b) As Saul says in 20:31, David could keep his son from
becoming king.
B. But Jonathan had a friendship with David anyway.
1) The unequal social status didn't matter much to them.
2) Both were young men and both were brave.
a) Each one had had daring military exploits.
b) David, of course, had defeated Goliath.
c) In chapter 14, Jonathan defeats an entire unit of
Philistines by himself and one aide.
3) They also had something intangible. 18:1
a) In 18:1 we are told, Jonathan became one in spirit
with David, and he loved him as himself.
b) Elsewhere, the Bible uses that language for marriage.
1> You are two different people, but you make a
commitment to bond to each other.
2> David and Jonathan had that kind of commitment.
4) In 18:3 it says Jonathan and David made a covenant.
a) This is a sacred promise, in the sight of God, to
keep their commitment to each other.
b) Jonathan sealed it by giving David his robe and sword,
symbols of Jonathan's position as prince.
c) Marriage is a covenant, sealed by vows and rings, and
friendship can be just as sacred.
C. Unlike people can still be as close as brothers.
Chuck Colson was a Nixon aide and Watergate criminal who
famously became a Christian.
He talks about the first Bible study he attended after his
conversion.
Two of the key men in the group were Senator Harold Hughes,
a liberal Democrat from Iowa, and Representative Al Quie, a
conservative Republican from Minnesota.
Colson said these two men had strong political convictions and
they would rarely vote on the same side on any issue.
But as brothers in Christ, they loved each other and would
have been willing to die for each other.
#64349
III. Every friendship needs a glue.
A. You don't get friends because you need friends.
1) You have to bring something to the table.
2) You have to have a shared interest or common values.
C.S. Lewis said that the most pathetic people were those who
simply "want friends."
The very condition of having friends is that we must want
something else beside friends.
If two people would ask of each other, "Do you see the same
truth? Do you sense the same beauty?" and the truthful
answer is, "No. I don't see it, I just want you as a
friend."
Precisely for that reason, no real friendship can happen.
There is nothing for the friendship to be "about."
Seeking a friend doesn't usually mean searching for someone,
it usually involves pursuing something deeply important to
you and discovering those who share it.
Pastor Leonard VanderZee points out that in church, friendships
grow and flourish in an atmosphere of mutual love for the
Lord and the study of his Word.
Don't join a church if you're looking for a friend.
Join one if you're seeking God in fellowship with others.
Then you're likely to find a friend.
#64350
B. David and Jonathan's friendship had a spiritual basis.
1) Both of them loved God as much as they loved each other.
a) In 20:13, Jonathan asks God to lead David as God had
led his father.
b) He asks David to treat him with unfailing kindness,
just like God treat us. 20:14
c) It was to be a commitment that outlasted life -
Jonathan wanted David to extend that kindness to
Jonathan's offspring as well. 20:15
2) Their spiritual bond sustained them. 23:16
a) When David was at his lowest, being hunted down by
Saul, Jonathan found him.
b) As 23:16 says, Jonathan helped David find strength
in God.
c) A true Christian friend does that for you.
IV. Did their relationship go beyond friendship?
A. It has been popular to suggest they were homosexuals. 2 Sam 1:26
1) Technically, David would be bisexual because he had many
heterosexual relationships with women.
2) But in 2 Samuel 1:26, as he is giving a eulogy for his
dead friend, David says "Your love for me was
wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."
3) As our society debates homosexuality, this statement is
often brought up to prove that homosexuality was
acceptable in Biblical times.
B. We should not confuse modern categories with ancient terms.
1) There is no sexual element in David's statement.
a) The hugging and weeping they do in these chapters
show male bonding and nothing more.
b) Males can be intimate without at all being sexual.
c) Men are often so concerned about giving the wrong
impression that they don't show affection to each
other, but there is nothing wrong with it.
2) We should not read into Scripture what we may want to be
there, but let it speak on its own terms.
V. The highest form of friendship involves sacrifice.
A. Jonathan gave up a lot for his friend.
1) He had to face the wrath of his father.
2) He put his own life on the line by warning David of the
danger he was in.
3) Jonathan acknowledged that David would be king, and
would outshine him, which required true humility. 23:17
B. Jesus exemplifies sacrificial friendship.
1) In John 15 Jesus tells his disciples that they are not his
servants or students, but his friends.
Then in 15:13 he says,
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down
his life for his friends."
2) Jonathan and David were willing to do this.
3) Jesus did as well, but on a much higher level.
a) He not only laid down his life for his friends, but
took their sins upon him.
b) Because he did that for us, our friendship with him
is lifelong, and even eternity-long.
4) Jesus also says this: "You are my friends, if you do
what I command." John 15:14
VI. Do you have solid Christian friends?
A. Pray for them and with them.
B. Challenge them to honor God in everything they do.
C. Share experiences, including the hard things of life.
D. Be loyal to them unto death.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
#64349 “Political Enemies Would Die For Each Other,” Rev. Dan Erickson;
First Baptist Church; Chisholm, Minnesota; Kerux Sermon #6725.
#64350 “Every Friendship Needs A Glue,” David Holwick, adapting from
Rev. Leonard J. Vander Zee's sermon "Friends," South Bend
Christian Reformed Church; South Bend, Indiana.
Kerux Sermon #21949.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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