Rev. David Holwick X
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
July 13, 1997
1 Peter 3:7
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I. Do Christians have to submit to control freaks?
A. "Submission" theme hits a nerve.
1) Several church women commented (desperately searching for
a verse that makes men submit).
2) A friend knows ten Christian women who married Christian
control-freak men, and submission almost destroyed them.
B. Note imbalance.
1) Women got 7 verses, men get only one.
a) Reflects the depressed lot of women in ancient times.
b) One preacher says it's because men aren't too bright
and can only handle one instruction at a time.
2) But men's verse covers a lot of territory, is just as hard.
II. Marriage must be reciprocal.
A. "In the same way."
1) Goes back to 2:13,17, show proper respect to everyone.
2) Also recalls example of Jesus, which should guide us.
a) Jesus treated women with purity and integrity.
b) They felt free to approach him without fear.
c) Christ refused to treat women as inferiors; instead
he gave them power and encouragement.
3) Apostle Paul says husbands should love their wives
just like Jesus loves us, sacrificially.
B. Responsibility is never just on one side.
1) Both sides of every relationship have obligations.
2) Cannot be all privileges with husband and all duties with
wife.
3) In Christian ethic, every privilege has a corresponding
obligation.
C. New concept in ancient world.
1) Roman writer Cato:
"If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity,
you can kill her without a care and no fear of a trial;
but, if she were to catch you, she would not venture to
touch you with her finger, and, indeed, she has no right."
2) In Christianity, both parties have same standards.
III. The obligations of a Christian husband:
A. Be understanding and considerate.
1) Hardest cruelty can be mere heartlessness.
2) Chrysostom's advice, 1,600 years ago:
A husband must never exercise his authority by insulting
and abusing his wife.
Whenever you give your wife advice, always begin by telling
her how much you love her.
Nothing will persuade her so well to admit the wisdom of
your words as her assurance that you are speaking to her
with sincere affection.
Show her that you value her company, and prefer being at
home to being out.
Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children.
Praise and show admiration for her good acts.
And if she ever does anything foolish, advise her patiently.
Finally, never call her by her name alone, but with terms of
endearment, honor, and love.
If you honor her, she won't need honor from others;
she won't desire praise from others if she enjoys the
praise that comes from you.
Prefer her before all others, both for her beauty and her
discernment, and praise her.
#3351
3) Husbands need to build up communication skills.
a) Spend time together. Don't be "ships passing in night."
b) Listen to non-verbal, as well as verbal, messages.
c) Use lots of praise.
(Pastor and "Pictionary" - it's a plane, idiot!)
B. Be chivalrous and show respect.
1) Weaker partners.
a) Evidence from past: morally, spiritually, intellectually.
b) Limited physical only?
1> Donner party rescue team, women lasted longer.
2> Military - upper body strength.
c) Women can be easily hurt, so be mindful of it.
1> (recent murder - multiple charges of abuse)
2) Treat your wife, and all women, like a lady.
a) In East, men ride donkeys while women walk.
1> Christianity introduced concept of chivalry.
b) Give wives attention and honor.
1> Value her opinion.
2> Treat her to special occasions.
C. Remember that women have equal spiritual rights.
1) Christianity brought in this revolutionary idea.
a) Women did not share in worship of Greeks, Romans, Jews.
b) (among Orthodox Jews, still don't)
2) Women are co-heirs with men in spiritual matters. Gal 3:28
a) (emphasize Galatians 3:28)
b) The Spirit is given to both men and women in Acts 2.
c) Men should be just as concerned about the spiritual
welfare of their families as wives are.
IV. Bringing down the barriers.
A. Hindered prayers.
1) God hinders a thoughtless man's prayers?
a) Bigg: "The sighs of the injured wife come between the
husband's prayers and God's hearing."
2) Better, man is hindered from praying together with his
wife.
a) Hard to join in prayer when a relationship is
strained.
B. The joys of marriage must belong to both, or none at all.
1) God's plan is that by putting the welfare of the other
first, both parties will be blessed.
2) Neither can enjoy the full blessing of life unless the
other shares.
C. Keep horizontal in tune with vertical.
1) Our relationships with God can never be right, if our
relationships with people are wrong.
2) It is when we are one with each other that we are one
with Him.
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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